MNLS #11: Whoa, we're famous
Jason, about half of a school year
For fuck's sake, don't let her fall in love with me! Please, don't let her fall in love. Please...
But I knew that it was already to late for that. Caroline has fallen in love with me, not asking me if I wanted that or not. I'd prefer she didn't.
Though, it would be interesting to get to know how it feels .. when someone is in love with you. Truly in love.
'Cause I knew too well that Jade wasn't in love with me, her kisses-hugs were simply things-to-do-in-relationship, and sex was just because of the pleasure.
So now I regret that. Maybe I shouldn't have ever started?
Another punch in the boxing bag. Actually I was pretty happy Zack had got a gym here.
At least you you can get away from your thoughts and so. For instance, getting rid of your anger was a good thing.
Talking about Caro again .. ugh. The first reason I was angry at myself, was because I actually knew I liked her, too. No, I didn't start falling in love with her yet - let's stress out the word "yet" -, but you never know when things can happen. Moreover, Jade was kind of Zack's friend, so she knew about all this mafia stuff, and I actually didn't care if she's in danger or not. But in Caro's case I had this very certain feeling, that I have to protect her. I wanted to protect her from everything.
And .. as you could see from her being and talking, she had fallen for me, hard.
So if I simply say "no" to her, it would hurt her really bad and I couldn't bear if she was broken.
Not because I didn't like that lovey-dovey stuff, but 'cause I wanted to protect her. And who would I have been if I hurt her by myself?
"Whoa, it seems someone has something on one's heart,"
Zack had entered the gym unnoticed.
Speak of the devil and he's just here. Good I didn't say anything out loud.
"Well, tell me then,"
You think he actually cared? Hell he did. He just wanted to know something he could threat me with or made a fool of me later. As I'd said before, Zack had no feelings and he didn't give a shit about anything nor anyone.The only things he cared about were money, girls with who he could spend time when he wanted to and his good position in the Assassins.
Guess that's all.
Instead of answering I just punched the bag once again. You get rid of anger and get in shape as well - what a fantastic combination.
"Hey, what's with that Caro chick?" Zack asked suddenly.
My eyes were wide open and I was glad I had my back at him at the moment.
My brain sent lots of dirty language through itself, which I won't speak out loud, but though How the hell he knows 'bout that? was hammering through my head.
Even though, I sometimes though why I joined that very dangerous "profession", mafia had taught me lots of things. As well as I was always in shape and knew what to do in different situations, I also knew how to pretend and control my emotions in need. This was what I needed the most then.
I left the bag alone and leaned on the bar counter.
"What are you talking about?" I asked carelessly, taking a sip from the bottle of water I took with me. I furrowed my brows.
"Nah, ya know. At school, she looks at you with such a loving gaze..." Zack wiggled his brows.
Nonetheless, I couldn't read anyone's mind, I knew too well what "the boss" was thinking about.
The second thing he is interested of.
"What are you talking about? There's nothing between us," Shit, I gotta do something. He mustn't get it, he must not.
"That's what you think. Girls like this have already planned your wedding, ya know," He had that look in his eyes like he knew what he was talking about
Not that he wasn't right - sorry, girls.
Of course I knew that Caro tends to fantasize a lot. You could see that from her girl friends' looks as well as from the personal messages in MSN.
But Zack was too wrong person to know that. And I had suddenly an urge to punch that stupid grin off his face.
Protection, my subconsciousness suggested, but I already knew it. Please don't tell me I start to fall in love with her
"Don't be a fool, she sure doesn't. How could she even like me? Look at me - somekind of a loner in black clothes who is always writing something in his laptop. I don't even have a bad boy imago."
"Whatever you think, Jason. I've been in touch with many different girls-" In touch .. literally .. OMG, why did I even think about that?! "-and I know when they have something serious on their minds. But it's not even important,"
I uplifted my brows as trying to tell I didn't understand what he was talking about.
"As she's already in love with you, you don't have to chase her. I know you'd just broken up with Jade..." His voice assumed that I and Jade actually meant something to each other. "I think you need a break. You look tired."
"You want to give me a break?" I asked, though I knew he didn't mean that. In mafia, you don't get a break.
"No, you idiot. You should get that girl between your sheets,"
Caro, after a couple of weeks
"I'm not kidding, Caro. They were talking about that for the whole French lesson,"
"Yeah, they did that so much it was getting on my nerves in the end,"
I turned my sullen gaze at Micha who ignored that, as always. When Cassie reported things in their best light, it was Micha who just had to say smth venomous.
Never add your blog link anywhere. It may be really dangerous.
"Why do they even care? So what if I have a blog where I post different thinks? So what?"
"You see, we haven't had any gossip lately. So that's what they need,"
"And it's not like you post "different things" there. You write about your feelings,"
"Not a single name was mentioned,"
"It can't hold them back, right?"
"I've never liked Zack," I muttered.
"Um, yeah, he's "helping" a lot. He mentioned you'd added Jason in MSN and so on,"
"If being honest, I liked Cyle's thing more. At least it was all made up,"
"Yeah," Of course I knew Chan wanted to help me - she just didn't know what to say anymore.
"But look at the bright side. You're now the famous one in our class," Micha said sharply again.
"Very funny," I muttered.
* Let's take a step back 'cause I can bet you don't understand what's happening. If you do, I summon the whole story briefly to verify your thoughts.
As I, Jason and Chantal weren't attending French, we didn't know anything what happened there. Okay, you may not count Jason - I have no idea why I even mentioned him -, 'cause he knew that pretty soon.
Anyway. Zack started to suspect. I mean, in Jason's case.
I'd really like to know how he did that.
I also had a blog where I posted my thoughts at times. Yesterday there was 100 page views. I was so happy... Now I know.
Everyone was interested in my personal life.
It wasn't a big surprise actually that they took it in hands as not every person writes about their feelings in a blog, right?
It all began a couple of weeks ago. Then they thought I like Cyle. Cute, isn't it? Mostly 'cause he's Don Juan here.
No way I'd like him.
Then Zack decided to pour oil on the fire (when they all started to shut up) and proposed it can be Jaon. As I heard from Michelle and Cassie, he told totally wrong things, but they seemed believable to others.
So here I am now, famous Caroline Forbz, from 9th grade, who is in love with Jason Lockwood.
Actually I didn't understand at all why they were gossiping. So what I like him? There are lots of dating couples in our school, but no one's gossiping about them.
Maybe it was because of my blog. Or, as Chantal said, there hadn't been any gossip for a long time. *
"You know what?" I said after "waking up" from my thoughts. Their heads jerked at me. "If they really want a gossip, let them talk. And we'll simply play along."