I crumpled my dress nervously in my heads. I was just about to stand up and get my basic school certificate and diploma.
But it wasn't a reason to be nervous. Not even a bit.
The beginning of the week
Caro, you must do that. You must.
I had been fighting with myself for almost half an hour, because of talking to Jason. But it wasn't just talking, not at all.
December, 14th was the day when I knew I had to talk with Jason about that talk, though, I couldn't bring myself to do that.
I sighed quietly and subdued. I really have to do that.
I open MSN with trembling hands and found Jason.
As it takes so much time to find him.
Double-click and the chat window was opened. I breathed out deeply.
"Mornin', I came to weird conclusion that if I'm gonna use his usual phrase, I get some courage. Really weird, isn't it?
And then again, he is completely unusual. Oh... "What's up?" Because one does not simply write to her crush she gotta talk to him.
I smiled a bit when I saw he was writing. So we're gonna skip the ignoring game... Nice.
"Net. Chemistry. Football .. nothing special."
Really "nothing special". It wasn't Jason's habit to ask me what's up in return.
But it's not important right now.
"Okay." Write, Caro, write it out, you poor girl. "Look, there's that thing .. what are you doing next Saturday (December, 19th)?" I exhaled loudly. Done.
Some seconds, there was "silence". Then he wrote: "Sleeping, I guess. Why?"
May I join..? Oh, Caro... "We need to meet. We should talk,"
Some moments passed as I got the answer: "Ahuh," When he didn't add anything for seconds, I started to panic and get angry 'cause I thought he'd leave it like that. But maybe something got through his head at that moment. That it wasn't just a slushy conversation. That it was really important.
"Do we have prom just after graduation?"
Really, Jason, what is wrong with you? You really gotta change the topic when we're about to get too intimate. However, unlike him, I answered the question. "No, it's about 6 or 8, I can't exactly remember,"
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. A minute passed and he still hadn't written anything. I gritted my teeth, getting angry with every moment. "Aren't you against meeting me?" I almost hammered at these poor keys.
And what should that mean now?
"But I've had pretty hard-working weekends during the vacation. I honestly don't know if I'm vacant,"
Was it really that hard to write? Why I have to demand to get answers? I shook my head as if he really could see my disapproval.
"Mhmhm, Just .. it's pretty important. We was about to have this "afterparty" or whatever it is, we could talk there, too, but I'm not sure it will take place,"
"I doubt I'd go there,"
Sorry, Mr. I-don't-like-parties, I forgot your preferences. "Okay. Drop me a note if you can come. Not later than Thursday, I guess,"
"OK." A couple of seconds passed and he added: "I'm away,"
I sigh subdued. Like I could hold you back. He had been doing that too much to finish a convo lately. "Bye,"
Although his "goodbye" ruined my mood, it didn't mean I wouldn't share that "happy event" with Chantal. Exactly with her as she was the only one lately who still listened to and supported me in every way.
We cheered a bit, she approved my courage (three ha-has four times) and wished me luck.
"Caroline Forbz," Headmaster's loud voice broke short silence after previous applauding and I got up. Turn yourself to face the person who sits, Dan's gotta stand up, Micha's about to sit - just as we were taught before the important event. (Yes, we really did have a rehearsal of our last ceremony)
I walked to the headmaster, got a handshake, then a diploma and a certificate, made a curtsy and got back to my seat, sent by applauding and my heels' clacking, still keeping my eyes on Jason, who looked so perfect in the suit that day.
But why can't he just get over his love to the color black? I mean, everyone has colorful ties and he's with the black one again. Oh...
Ceremony kept going on - as we were grade A, it took lots of time for everyone to get all their stuff. Then, it was time for the speeches... Our headmaster managed to get over with it with just half an hour! He is known for making speeches, lasting for couple of hours. Then, Max, spokesman from our classes, made a humorous speech. I don't like speeches, but that was something. And then the form misterin of class c. That wasn't that fun. But who am I, if I can't even make a speech?
After that we all walked out our hall, which was big, but with really bad acoustic, to get congratulations and flowers from our family and friends.
After wading in the mass of people, I found my parents, brother, Grandpa&Grandma, aunt .. Well, I'm not going to count them all, now will I? Anyway, bigger mass of tribe than whoever else.
They congratulated me, though, I eyed Jason for most of the time, who got congrats from his family a couple of meters farther.
So I'm not the only one who does't have friends outside school? Nice to know, J.
After congrats, there were photoshoots. At first with all the graduates + all the teachers who taught us. And then each class separately.
It was quite fun as we demanded the photograph to do 50+ pics 'cause always there was someone who whined he/she had left one's eyes or mouth open.
Advantages of being class a - we had made our pics first, so woopie-woopie-woo, we got home earlier!
Actually, not really, as we wanted to do lots of bff-s photos as well. That was nice. Guess there're about 1000.
After that we said goodbyes - until evening - and went to our homes to prepare for something even better.
Our so called "after party" was in the club, though, you can't really call it that as the teachers had to be there, too.
However, we had to have our very own get-together out of town, somewhere near see, though, I couldn't be sure at all I actually go there.
Nevertheless, it was very fun in Renata. We danced a lot - where "we" meant 99% of girls and 1% of jackass boys from grade b -, sat on sofas and chatted or ate snacks or, then again, were on a balcony.
It was also fun that there was a photograph, who perpetuated everything.
When the evening came, it all flaked off. People walked between the hall and the toilets, so
the dance floor was quite deserted. Boys from our class sprawled on the sofas and observed girls, for instance.
Then again, it gave me an opportunity to remind Jason about tomorrow.
It could be so perfect, so... Oh.
He was just before me. I stood in the corridor to call dad, so he would come to drive me home, and he was close, real close.
I had just to take a step forth and tell him we gotta talk. Just now.
I breathed in heavily and took that step.