28.01.13

SL #48: Close your eyes and dismiss the reality

"You're insecure, don't know what for,"
But I don't want to get up. "Being the way that you are is enough,"
Why thank you, but still... "Baby, you light up my world like nobody else,"
Boys, stop seducing me... "The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,"

"Fine," I growled half-loudly and grabbed my phone. I actually didn't know why I would even get up. I'd forgotten to turn off my alarm clock - stupid me - and the sleep was gone.
Ah, right. Ian has to get to work.

No, wait, one more question: how did I even make it to bed? I furrowed my brows, trying to remember the last night. I remembered talking with Jason. How I'd lay on sofa and he'd hover above me and keep smiling. And I kept looking and looking and...
Most likely I fell asleep then. But how would I get in the bed?!

I was to stand up, but before I could get out the bed, I felt something was most definitely wrong. There was something heavy on my side and someone's fingers on mines.
How didn't I feel that before? Um .. me in someone's arms? Duuh.
I opened my eyes and got confirmed that someone's hand really was around me.

Very interesting, who would that be..? I don't exactly remember falling asleep with someone. Duh, Caro, you can't even remember how you made it to bed. Maybe you overdosed slightly yesterday?
My head didn't ache, so it was out of question. That's interesting.

I turned myself carefully and almost hit Jason's face with mine.
Jason? Really?!
He moved in his sleep, but his hand remained on my side.
And if he wakes up now, he won't be happy. I have to...
Of course I'd love to lay there for many many hours and just enjoy our closeness - 'twas something I wanted so wildly -, but I knew Jason way too well.

On the one hand, he was the one by my side - though I had no idea how'd we managed to end up like this - and I didn't even understand .. But he smelled of his wonderful cologne and .. alcohol (?), so I wondered if I could accuse him of anything - although I still wanted to know how could he have gone that far. And if he'd wake up and found me .. he wouldn't be mad, no. Not with me at least. But he'd be mad with himself, which would end with him thinking it's too much for him and that he should distance himself from me. Go too far away.

I wouldn't cope with that. Again. Or again, again, again.
So I don't really have any choice.
Notwithstanding .. it's totally something special. Even after the dance. Even after yesterday. Even after .. everything.

I sighed quietly to myself, blowing some air at Jason's face and some strands fell on his eyes. I could resist the need to remain there, lying by his side, but couldn't resist the temptation to extend my hand and tuck runaway strands of hair away from his eyes. Even though I preferred him with shaggy hair which would spike in every direction.

I slowly stretched out my hand, so I wouldn't wake him up, and gently touched his hair.
And then, all of sudden, his hand would grab mine. I inhaled loudly, getting ready for a wave of anger.
It didn't come, though, as Jason wasn't even awake - he'd grabbed me in his sleep!
Wow, amazing reflexes... Where would he learn that?

I carefully freed my hand - must say he was strong even for a sleeping person -, shifted myself on the other side of bed in case not to traumatize Jason anymore nor wake him up unintentionally, and slipped my feet on the wooden floor.
I stood up, stretched myself, massaging my stiff from sleep muscles, and peeked at Jason one more time.
He's soooo cute in his sleep.



A smile on my face had no intention of leaving, therefore I had to go to Ian with that wolf grin, pulling a hoody around me before leaving. I deviated into the bathroom on my way to freshen up my face.
I opened two doors wrongly till I found where Ian was.

Oh, god. "Sorry," I muttered, trying to set my eyes on something else.
Ian's back was at me, not that it would change anything: he was still only in his boxers. "Morning. Oh, and that's okay," he smiled at me, then gave a weird look, but that faded quickly. I decided not to ask. For me, it was weird enough to be in one room with him while he'd put on his jeans.

You know .. it was so strange. I mean, Ian was Jason's best friend as well, but at the same time .. we would get along so well. Sometimes even better than with Jason - there are certain reasons, huh? But what amused me was that Jason, Zack - obviously he's not Jason's best friend, but let's pretend for a second that he is - and Ian were so different.

"I came to wake you up," I said, tousling my hair - oh right, why didn't anyone told me to calm my bedhead hair down?
"Oh, thanks, I'd almost slept in,"

I looked around in the room and found an open window. I raised my brow at the lad.
"Yeah, I should close it," He walked to the window, half-naked - which means only in his jeans -, and closed it. "It was so hot in here at night, ya know,"
I doubted he'd try something with Analeigh - mhm, he liked Analeigh .. a lot -, who slept in other bed .. in someone's arms. It was hard to say who it was exactly. Looked like Zack's blond hair, but could've been Adam or .. someone else.  "Hot? I almost froze to death,"

He furrowed his brows. "Froze? Now that's weird," A knowing grin appeared on his face. "You know, you could have..." He shut up abruptly and looked at me as if he'd exposed me his plan of taking over the world.
"I could have what?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"Em .. forget it," he said, letting his eyes wonder around, and grabbed for his shirt.
"Please, don't use that phrase. I hate Jason enough for..." Oh. Silly, silly Caro.

Not that I would have been afraid of Ian exposing something. First difference. I would often have that feeling that Ian knew about .. us. Nonetheless, he'd never mentioned anything when someone else beside me and Jason would be in the same room. I liked him a lot for that.
But still .. mentioning that was .. stupid.

But then I saw Ian's embarrassed and ambiguous facial expression, which made me suck for air. "You didn't think of .. what I'm thinking, right?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Ian waved at me to exit the room after him. We went to the kitchen to eat some breakfast.

"Ian," I said sternly, when we were downstairs and attacked Josh's fridge.
"Listen, it's not any of my business. I mean, of course I want for Jason to be happy and all, but I don't interfere myself in his life.."
"You .. me and Jason .. we didn't do anything. Seriously. You know that,"

"I see," he said simply and looked down my face.
What..? Oh, my god. "It's not .. what you think it is,"
He smirked. "Keep calm, I won't tell anyone,"
"No, really, Ian, it's not funny. I kinda sorta .. managed to take his hoody," Now that, Caroline Forbz, doesn't sound like truth a bit.

Yes, I had lots of different ways to "hit on"  Jason and that taking-wrong-hoody-way would have been quite successful if I actually had planned it. But I hadn't, alright! It really was an accident.
However, it was always like that. When I did something connected with Jason that was not on purpose, majority would always notice. How stupid.

"Whatever you say, Caro," Ian said and turned the egg on the pan.  "One more thing, though. I really meant that,"
"What?"
"I won't tell anyone. I know about .. situation, but I still haven't got idea why you would have to tell the whole world," He growled something under his nose, but I didn't ask because someone was coming down the stairs.

"Thanks, Ian," I just said and smiled at the boy.
We both turned to face the stairs.
"Speak of the devil," Ian said loudly - we half-whispered before, so no one would hear.
Devil? Oh, please. "Morning," I smiled at Jason.

"Mornin'," he said sleepily.
Jason's hair was perfectly messy - how is that even possible? - and his eyes so cutely sleepy that I wanted to hug him and say "aww".
At first, he looked at Ian, then at me, then Ian and me once again. We exchanged looks as well.

"What?" Ian asked firstly.
"Um .. no, nothing," Jason waved his hand dismissively. "I want food, too," he demanded then.
Ian gave me a look and I said silently, just with my lips: "What?"
He pointed towards the kitchen with his head and laughed when I growled in response.

"Why would everyone think that woman's place is in kitchen?" I asked, putting the plate with eaten omelette - thanks, Ian! - in the dishwasher and dug in the fridge. Truly I liked the idea that I could .. might cook for Jason.
"Hey! I made the food before!" he defended himself.
"Choke on this goddamn omelette, Ian," I barked at him.

In addition to his laugh - accompanied with "Toccata": "The divination is happening," - I also heard Jason laughing.
"I see you've had lots of fun here," he said.
As I was facing the guys at the moment, I saw Ian's ambiguous expression.

"So, what would you prefer?" I asked, holding Nutella in my hand. Hey, dessert, too!
He looked at that and shook his head. "I prefer domestic,"
I frowned, but grinned when an idea came to my mind. "Yeah? Well, bon appetit," I threw a butter tub at him.

He raised a brow at me. "Really, Caro, really? You care about me so much..."
My eyes went wide open when he said that. Not that he said or though of it in somehow special way .. but I did. "Fine, I'll fry you some eggs,"
He smiled. "Thanks .. wait, why are you wearing my hoodie?"
Ugh-oh. "Um..."
"I'm gonna brush my teeth," Ian said suddenly and, after winking at me behind Jason's shoulder, moved towards the bathroom.

I supported my hands on the counter and looked at Jason. Once again I cursed myself for pulling my hair up, so I had nothing to cover my face with.
I zipped the hoodie open. "Sorry, I..."
But before I could say anything as an excuse, Jason stood before me and his brown eyes bore into mines.

I was too close to the counter. I was happy I wasn't sitting on one or else the situation would have been even stranger.
"Don't apologize. Or it would seem as if I'm angry,"
"I'm afraid you are,"

He raised his brows. "Should I be?"
I bit my lip. "Well, you know .. when I went to wake up Ian .. and he noticed me wearing your hoody.. well, he though that .. we .. that I and you..."
Jason's bright smile appeared on his lips. He shook his head. "Oh, Ian, Ian,"

I smiled lightly as well.
"You know, you can wear it for now. It's like .. 7 AM, okay. Everyone's fast asleep,"
I nodded slowly, wondering whether Jason had took something the previous day or not. He was too .. nice?

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