As we were walking he was a bit too close. And his hand kept brushing against my thigh. Totally accidentally, yeah right. And you know? I managed to forget it in the meantime: after the dance it was natural and didn't cause anything. But the feeling was back now. The way he touched me and a wave of heat passed through my body and where he our bodies impacted, there was an epicenter. And it was freaking good.
What also made me glad was how he felt okay with Ian walking by right side of me. He felt free with him being around. Not like when he was around Zack. Which made me inadvertently wonder why he socialized with Zack more, though.
"I mean, it'd be to go by twelve o'clock bus as it takes about two hours to arrive. Half one is also okay, but I think we'd better go with twelve one. Or what do you think, Jason?"
"Mhm," Jason said, having his eyes only for me.
I've never felt that before. Everyone who has ever been in love knows how your loved one can give you a look which makes you blush and you want to turn you eyes away. It has never happened to me before, though! I could feel awkward or not talk normally, but Jason has never made me blush with just his look. It may have been caused by his words or touch, but never by look. And then suddenly .. suddenly he gave me that look and I felt how his eyes don't just look into mines, but also in my soul. It caused blush appear on my cheeks and I turned my eyes away.
From the corner of my eye, I saw him smirking.
"So we're leaving at twelve. Caro?"
"Yeah?" I asked as if waking up.
"Celebrating the beginning of the summer at Alasia's. January, 3rd, twelve o'clock," Jason explained, still smirking.
"Ah, right," I said and mentally slapped myself: like seriously, Caroline? You really want to disgrace yourself before both of them? Oh you. "Yup, I wanted to leave at twelve, too," I saw Ian trying to hide an enlarging grin. Jason, on the other hand, didn't even try to hide it.
"Cool, then we have a girl's company, too,"
"Who else will be there?"
"Ed had to come, Dec and Rob,"
"Oh, okay," Me and men again.
Usually I like to drive with buses. But when in the beginning of the ride you decide you don't want to sit and your driver turns out to be a character from "Fast and Furious" - at least I can bet he for sure wanted to apply there -, which culminates with you falling on your loved one constantly, then it's .. no, for me, it's obviously wonderful, but at the same time weird and in some point awkward. I mean, you can't blame the bus driver all the time, even if it's true. Don't forget the "understanding" looks sent by your loved one's friend.
"Me we .. take a seat?" I proposed matter-of-factly, holding the pole carefully, which - like previous unwanted experiments showed - wasn't really effective.
"I think it's reasonable,"
Jason turned around and moved towards the free seats.
"Oh, my gosh," I muttered tiredly and a bit annoyed, when bus jumped once again, so I actually had to fly to the fore of the bus. I grabbed Jason's hoodie to keep the balance.
He jerked, but didn't say anything. The following should have shocked as me as well Ian hadn't it become normal thing lately, so I tried to calm my thrills - no, I have no idea, too, how to calm something inside you -, when he held out his hand, snaked it around my waist and pulled me towards him, so I'd sit by the window.
For God's sake.
He grabbed the pole and launched himself by my side.
Ian sat before me, making faces - firstly, these "understanding" ones and then taking cracks at me.
"Don't .. please don't make that face," I plead amid bursts of laughs, holding my stomach. Lately, Ian had some sort of habit, or more likely experiment, when he tried to look at person's face with poker face and not to react to his facial expression. At the end, he'd laugh along of course, but he got better every time.
"Well, then, have a nice day," he said with politeness, only characteristic to him, leaving us some stops earlier.
I waved in a flirty way only characteristic to me - it sounded weird, hope you understood. It was a light wiggle of fingers.
"Tell me about yourself," Jason said suddenly.
"Wait, what?" I turned my amused face to him.
"What are you planning to do next?" He said in an easy, not Jason language.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Going home, I guess, why?"
"You didn't eat much, too, did you?" he continued questioning me.
"Um yeah," I said slowly, heart fluttering inside. If you're trying to ask me out to eat,then I'm in with all of my limbs, organs and other body parts. Even if sounds weird.
"I just wondered whether you want to join me - I wanted to grab something to eat somewhere,"
"Okay," He said and I crossed my fingers, so it wouldn't be his last word. Happily, it wasn't. "What do you want to eat?"
"Something Chinese," I said, wondering.
"Chinese cuisine? Please don't tell me you like these gross sushi's,"
"Jason, silly, it's Japanese,"
"Well, you're the one who should know, you've been to the country of 'small little yellow people',"
"You're being such a racist right now, you know,"
"Well, it wasn't me who said that firstly, huh. You forget how you said that to me?"
"Me? You being serious right now?" He grinned. "I couldn't have said something like that!"
"Not exactly, it was something similar,"
"Hmm," Jason made a thinking face. "Most likely I said: 'It's nice to visit a country where people are about head shorter than you,'"
"Eh .. prolly," I said, smiling, and wondered that he really remembered something from our talk. I'm not the only one, yay.
He smiled and shook his head.
"Okay, Chinese. North-, South-, East-, West-Chinese?"
I gave him a stop-showing-your-knowledge. "Just Chinese. You don't have to be a smartass here,"
"But I wanna ," he said cussedly and pouted his lower lip.
And again I knew that my orotund laugh was the reason why all the people in the bus - not the driver, happily - glared at us.
"And so you know: I do not like sushi,"
"Don't you think we should eat outside? I mean, order takeaways and..." Jason suddenly asked, when we were in a queue.
"Let's go by the sea," I said enthusiastically. I didn't even thing it had sounded like a date from the beginning and if we go by the sea, it would be even more. Just that at times you really should not over think. Actually, he was right: chilly morning turned into warm noon.
He smirked and I thought that he has been smiling so freaking much lately. It was cool that I .. that I made him smile. At least I guess - hope -, it was me.
"I knew you'd suggest that. I'm okay with that, today is an amazing day,"
"So, what can I get for you?" a cashier asked politely and smiled. Not that yeah-my-boss-forces-me-to-smile, but genuine. That kind of cashiers are the best.
Jason raised a brow at me.
"Noodles with pork please,"
"Spicy fries and Gan Bian chicken. Please,"
"Which is .. oh, sorry. Anything to drink?"
"Cola Light and Cola Zero," Jason said before I could even open my mouth and winked at me sultry.
You better be happy we're in public place or else your clothes would have been gone by now.
"So. It's 10 dollars," the cashier said and smiled at us..
"Um..." I began, but Jason took my wrist just as I was about to look for my wallet in my purse.
"I pay," he told me.
Em .. okay?
He took the takeaway bags and handed me one.
"Why'd you act so nice?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Hmm," he mumbled. "I don't know, I'm just in a good mood,"
"Okay," I said and giggled.
Of course, it's totally okay. It's totally okay to sit on that freaking beach and seem to be a couple to the passersby. Oh right, it's totally normal to do that with your loved one, who acts totally not him, as he's usually keeping to himself and not showing any signs of affection. It's totally okay to...
"Caro?" Jason's voice broke into my monologue and I blinked at him, puzzled. "You seem to be so deep in thought .. I'd say, uptight even. Tell me what's worrying you,"
I smirked at his therapist's voice. "I'm just .. wondering,"
"What kind of answer are you expecting?"
"Give a guess,"
"I know that you know,"
"Oh, okay," I raised hands in sign of giving up. "I still haven't understood your fantastic behavior today,"
"Well, today you are so .. good,"
"So you think I'm a bad person?"
"No, but .. you're not that free usually. You prefer to keep distance between us and .. at times I feel like you think you can put me in some kind of danger or something .. ah, I don't know,"
He gave me a serious look. "But maybe I am dangerous to you," He shoved a fry in his mouth, tilted his head and looked at me thoughtfully.
I took a sip from Coca-Cola. "Jason, you can't be dangerous to me. Since when are you a danger?" Only that he'd actually made me think. I don't know how, but something inside me insisted on that maybe being true. Although I didn't understand how casual teenager could be that, but I've learned to trust my intuition. Not that I'd confess about it to him.
Why is she so damn nifty? It's like .. oh.
Actually I had to admit to myself that it was freaking nice. To sit on the beach, listen to the waves and do it all with her. It felt like a nice afternoon picnic with a girl I loved.
To watch her golden hair and bright eyes, listen to her tinkling voice and laugh, just enjoy time spent with her .. it truly was fantastic. She made me forget who I really was and for the first time in my life I was happy for that. I mean, while sitting next to her I could be myself, not that cold-hearted mafioso I had to be.
And then I understood that Caroline was my one and only I wanted ever to be with.