30.09.12

SL #39: Klassi kokkutulek

Inimesed üha tulid ja tulid, kuid teda polnud endiselt.

"Ära jõllita, Caro" sosistas Michelle mu kõrval ja imelikul kombel kõlas see täiesti heatahtlikult. "Keegi võib märgata,"
Ning ma sain aru, et lõpuks jõudis ka temani asjaolu, et Jason OLI mu eluarmastus ja miski ei muuda seda.

Micha ei uskunud sedasorti asjadesse. Võib-olla selle pärast me paukusimegi nii palju. Ta ei saanud aru, kuidas sa saad tuimalt ühe inimese küljes rippuda, isegi kui ta sulle midagi vastu ei anna. Kuidas sa teda siis üldse armastada saad. Ja kuidas sa üleüldse saad armastada kedagi, kellega sa pole kunagi päriselt koos olnudki.
Ent mingi hetk jõuab selline arusaam igaüheni. Kõik võtab aega. Eriti õige inimese leidmine.

Ning kui ma uuesti end ümber pöörasin, leidsin selle õige inimese vastu seina toetamas ja ma olin nähtavasti nii süvenenud oma mõtetesse, et ei kuulnudki ukse paukumist ega tema, Edi ja Dougi sisenemist.
Pidu võttis mu jaoks teise pöörde ja seda sellepärast, et Jason suutis mu näole manada naeratuse.
Kuidas see tal õnnestus? Ta isegi ei proovi. Ta isegi ei tea.

Jason vaatas mulle otsa. Kui ta seal sedasi vastu seina toetas, seljas mustad teksad ja must pusa - nagu alati -, meenutas ta mulle paha poissi rohkem kui kunagi varem. Tema karamellivärvi salgud olid ta silmadel, kuid ta ei kavatsenudki neid eemale lükata, mistõttu tekkis mul endal see tahtmine. Ta naeratas mulle armsalt, liikus siis Dougi ja Edi järel teiste juurde ning prantsatas diivanile Joshi, Drake'i, Dougi ja kõikide teiste Monopoly mängivate inimeste sekka ning ma mõtlesin hetkeks taas suurte ja väikeste kalade peale.
Aga kui ma nägin teda naeratamas, kusjuures ka silmadega, mõtlesin ma, et äkki seekord ta tõepoolest tahab õnnelik olla, teiste keskel.

Keskendusin taas koogile. Seda oli palju lõbusam teha, kui ma teadsin, et Jason oli siin ja ta saab seda hiljem kaeda.
"Caro," sõnas äkki Alasia imeliku häälega. "Miks sa irvitad nii, nagu oleks just tapnud oma vihavaenlase?"
Proovisin manada näole tüdrukulikuma naeratuse. "On nii parem?"

Tüdruk raputas pead. "Sa ei vastanud,"
Nookasin peaga diivanite vahel kohvilaua poole ning ta pöördus sinna. Siis ilmus ka tema näole särav naeratus.
"Nüüd ma saan aru,"

Vaatasin talle mitmetähenduslikult otsa.
"Kas see tõesti on nii?"
"Mis?" ei saanud ma esimese hooga aru.
"Ma mõtlen .. kuidas see töötab? Kuidas see üldse võimalik on? Et ta lihtsalt on ja sa oled samal ajal seitsmendas taevas. Te pole isegi koos või midagi,"

"Seda on raske seletada," laususin ma, lõpetades koogiga ning asetades selle külmikusse. Kehitasin õlgu. "Ma ei tea. See lihtsalt töötab nii."
"See on nii imelik,"
"On,"

"Aga samas .. sa oled enamuse ajast nii õnnelik ja ma arvan, et see võib isegi tore olla,"
"Enamuse ajast - jah. Aga vahel on sellised momendid..." Mu mõtted tormasid juba automaatselt hilisete sündmuste peale. Tüdrukud teadsid, et me oleme ära leppinud, kuid ma polnud veel kellelegi neist rääkinud, kuidas see täpselt toimus. Mu jaoks oli see midagi intiimset ning imelikul kombel polnud mul tahtmistki sellest kellelegi rääkida - ma mõtlen, minu puhul ma rääkisin ju tüdrukutele kõigest. 

"Ma olen õnnelik, et te lõpuks ära leppisite,"
Jah, seda küll, aga siiski .. nende momentide ajal .. sa tunned end nii surnult. Sa tahadki olla surnud, sest see on nii kohutav," Mu nägu muutus süngeks, kui ma tuletasin meelde detsembrikuud.
Alasia noogutas mõistvalt pead. "Kuid .. sa oled ju endiselt siin, eks? Ja sa oled rõõmus .. see pole ju mask, ega?"

Naeratasin tüdrukule soojalt. "Jah, nüüd on kõik hästi," Lasin silmadel korraks Jasonile rännata ja leidsin teda ennast vaatamas. See tõi mu näole naeratuse ja ma suunasin selle talle. Ta naeratas mulle vastu.
"Ma olen kindel, et see enam ei kordu. Me lahendasime selle kõik ära,"
Alasia püüdis mu pilgu ja naeratas rahulolevalt. "Ma näen. Kas te olete nüüd..?"

Mu naeratus muutus veidi kurvaks. "Ei," vastasin võib-olla pisut teravamalt, kui olin tegelikult tahtnud.
"Sorry, ma ei..."
"Ei, mina peaksin vabandama," Pöörasin oma pilgu taas tüdrukule. "Ma lihtsalt .. noh, tead küll, kui kinnisidee see mulle on,"

Alasia naeratas mulle taas. "Ma arvan, et sa peaksid sinna minema," Ta osutas peaga diivanite poole, kus poisid endiselt Monopoly mängisid.
Kergitasin mänglevalt kulmu. "Ei tea miks,"
Ta kehitas süütult õlgu. "Ma arvan, et talle meeldiks see,"

Raputasin pead. "See, et me oma asjad selgeks rääkisime, taaskord, ei tähenda, et ta äkki enda .. huvi? rohkem näitama hakkaks,"
"No ei tea midagi .. jõllitab ta sind küll huviga,"
"Tõesti?!" poolhüüatasin ma ja tahtsin juba ümber pöörata, kui Alasia mu käest haaras.

"Lihtsalt mine sinna. Ära näita, et sa oled sama huvitatud. Tead ju küll, kuidas nendega on," Ta pilgutas mulle salakavalalt silma.
Naeratasin talle kavalalt. "Okei,"

Pöörasin end sihikindlalt ümber ning märkasin, kuidas Jason pead lauale pööras.
Nii et Alasial oli õigus, mis? Poleks tõepoolest arvanud...
Potsatasin kott-tooli, mis oli diagonaalis diivaniga, millel istus Jason. Ta vaatas mulle korraks otsa, tema silmis salapärane helk, millest ma kohe kuidagi ei suutnud aru saada, ning keskendus siis taas mängule.

5 minuti pärast, mis ma poiste seltskonnas viibisin - jah, ma vahel eelistan 99% poiste seltskondi, kus 1% tüdruk olen mina -, sain aru, et neil käib mingi eriti kahtlane mäng, kus nad proovivad Dougi kaotama panna.
Poisid...

Jälgisin lummatult mängulauda, sest nii põnev oli vaadata, kuidas kutid omavahel mingeid asju klaarivad ja naeravad...
Jake'i käsi sirutus minust mõnekümne sentimeetri kaugusel ning ma praktiliselt hüpatasin oma kohal. Sirutasin end seljal ning sulgesin korraks silmad. Kui ma need hetk hiljem avasin, avastasin enda kohalt väljasirutunud Jasoni.

Jälgisin teda päranisilmi, kuni ta midagi lauale asetas - ma mõtlen, olge nüüd, millal ma pidin veel tähele panema, kui minust 10 cm kaugusel on Jasoni sixpack ja teisel pool Jake'i käsi?! -, ning siis tagasi istus, seekord ka tema silmad minu omadel, kusjuures istus ta Jake'i kõrvale diivanile, sest Drake oli kuskile ära läinud.
Mida helli toimub, tõepoolest?

Äkki tiris Jason endal pusa seljas, jäädes vaid T-särgi väele. Sellel oli kirjutatud mingi .. "Fuck..." sarnast, aga ma ei saanud ju pikaks jõllitama jääda, et seda välja selgitada. Niigi jäin teist korda 5 minuti jooksul vaatama tema suurepäraseid kõhulihaseid.

"Mike, kas sul kitarri on?" pöördus Jason äkki poisi poole.
Too noogutas ning läks ülakorrusele, kus olid magamistoad, sellele järele.
Mida ta teha kavatseb? Piidlesin Jasonit ning ta näol oli salakaval naeratus. Hmm...

"Näe, võta," Mike ulatas Jasonile kitarri, kes selle hea meelega vastu võttis ning "tänks" pomises.
Ta seadistas seda veits ning lasi paar korda sõrmed üle keelte. Kui ta sellega ühele poole sai, hakkas ta mängima.

Jasoni sõrmede all moodustus kitarriversioon "Mad Worldist". Ma ei olnud meie klassi kunagi nii vaiksetena kuulnud. Kogu sumin peatus sekundil, kui Jasoni sõrmed puudutasid kitarrikeeli, ning kõik, kus iganes nad ka ei olnud ja mida iganes nad ka ei teinud, pöörasid oma pead ja jäid noormeest põrnitsema.

Nägin tema huuli liikumas, kuid ta ei laulnud valjusti.
"And I find it kinda funny,
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had."

Laulsin talle mõttes kaasa, sest just tema oli see, kes minuga seda lugu kunagi jagas. See oli kurb, jah, aga samas mõtlemapanev, ning meile Jasoniga meeldis igasuguste asjade üle mõtiskleda.
Kui ta lõpetas, valitses paar sekundit toas vaikus, kuid siis hakkasid kõik metsikult plaksutama.

Ma olin õnnelik. Esiteks, ma olin ümbritsetud oma armsa klassiga ning meil kõigil oli hea olla. Teiseks, me Jasoniga olime taas sõbrad. Ning võib-olla isegi rohkem kui sõbrad... Ning kolmandaks, ma sain täidetud ühe oma ammuse soovi - kuulata Jasonit live versioonis. Ning see oli suurepärane, eks!

25.09.12

MNLS #20: A Christmas Party

 Jason

I don't like parties.
I looked around, totally bored.
Why did I even come?

I gnashed my teeth as my smart subconsciousness was about to whisper the answer. I just didn't want to .. overthink. However, at the same time I knew too well it was true.
Let's just keep talking about parties .. it's good to keep your head clean.
Like it's ever possible, my subconsciousness withered. I ignored it.

Yes, at that time I din't like parties at all. Because when we had parties, people immediately got drunk and messed around. What was the point anyway?
Why I got used to them later .. nice. That's exactly what I call "let's not overthink". Oh, okay, it's impossible to get her out of my head. Let her be then.

I just understood in the first gymnasium years how much Caro liked these parties. She feels more free. Beside, she was't like others - her "heavy drinking" consisted of only one can of cider and she was always against doing any drugs.
Smart girl, huh? You like these, don't you? Shut up, I roared in response to my subconsciouness. Wow, I'm really dumb. Arguing here with myself. I'm insane.

And how he slowly moved herself in the rhytm of music, trying to do that delicately, so no one would think she's crazy.
No one would ever dare to...

She was angelic in every way. And at the same time she tried not to be so .. girly. Maybe I didn't think only about good angels. She may have got something dark in her as well.

I liked where I was at the moment. I could lose myself in my thoughts as well as observe others without being noticed by myself. (I was on the balcony.) I could look for Caro there as well as other people, just in case. I let my eyes wander around the hall, trying to find Zack and starting to panic when not finding him and Caro.
Call me paranoid but you can expect everything from Zack.

And then I found them. Seeing something that was breaking my heart.


***

Caro

"Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away..."
I knew it was stupid. To sing somewhere where are like lots of people, especially when these people are your own classmates, who can call you a freak then.
Like I already wasn't one...

"Caaaroooo," Micha slumped down on the chair and took a sip from glogg.
I tilted my head, waiting for her comment. Dunno about what, though.
"Why aren't you dancing with your dream guy?"
I raised my brows. "Because he .. hasn't invited me? Where is he, after all?" I tried to switch the topic, not that I was successful, but it didn't kill me as I tried.

"There," She made a move with her head towards Jason, Zack and Ian. "Why don't you invite him by yourself?"
Told ya, Micha wouldn't buy it.
"Because .. I don't have enough courage?" I tried to make my voice sound like I was improvising, though, it was true. As I had mentioned before, we had really serious problems with talking with Jason, and after his touch when I turned into .. an electric eel, I was truly scared to touch him.

"Really? Why would you?"
But Micha knew nothing. She didn't knew anything what I felt for Jason. How we talked on MSN, exchange  gazes and whatever. She knew nothing.

She slumped her cup on the table a bit louder than needed.
"You know what? You need some alternation. Don't ask Jason to dance .. at least not now," She stood up and grabbed my hand.
I started to panic. "Where now?"

"You see them?" She pointed at darkened people in front of hall. "That's Cyle's guys gang. And we're gonna join them."
So instead of dancing with the boy of my dreams, I moved myself in the rhythm of music with Micha, Cyle and Corey.

At moments I happened to face our table, I could see him, Zack and Ian looking at us. Well, not us exactly, of course not, but at times our eyes met. (C'mon, we danced with Cyle's gang after all!)

 ***

Micha smiled to encourage me.
"Don't you worry. It's just a dance. Besides," She leaned closer while walking and her hair touched my shoulder. "It's a good way to make someone jealous,"
My brows raised. "With Josh? Are you kidding me?"
"What's wrong with him?" Michelle didn't understand.

"No, no, I didn't mean it that way at all. Just .. Jason already knows I've fallen head over heels for him,"
Micha smiled sweetly. "Let him be. But it won't do bad for him to be uptight at times,"
I shook my head. "Whatever,"

I stopped when we reached the bench where were Josh and...
"May I get a dance with you?" Micha asked Zack.
As much as I hated him, I could do nothing that moment but turn to face Josh and ask exactly the same: "Would you like to dance?"

***


"He was upstairs so much. And eyed the dance floor all the time." Cassie told me after I had finished dancing with Josh.
When I was still lost in myself, Cassie added: "I thought maybe you should join him there and then there would be only two of you, and you could dance, just you and him. Like 'Twilight', you know."

I smiled as I adored Cassie's positive thinking in us case. "'Twilight', huh? Guys don't like 'Twilight',"
"But it would have been soooo romantic,"

"It would have, indeed. If only I wasn't such a coward nor was afraid of asking him to dance with me. For example, if you took Dean, it would be pretty possible,"
"It's never too late," Cassie said mystically and ignored my comment about Dean. "How about now?"
I sent a look at the balcony, finding Jason just there. I looked at Cassie, feeling suddenly so confident. "Why not? It's never too late,"
"Go, girl. But one dance. You don't want to get suspended, right."

There really wasn't anything weird about one dance, besides, I've danced with other guys, too, after Cyle's gang
One dance.

I skipped upstairs, heart pumping faster with each step.
The moment I've waited for so long is about to happen...

I was already up when...
"No," a whisper escaped only from my lips. "Please don't let it happen,"

Jason was gone. He was .. gone.



***

Jason

Why am I such an idiot?
I knew very well there's nothing between Caro and Josh, nevertheless, it broke my heart in some point, when I saw how she asked Josh to dance rumba or whatever it was with her as they swirled around our "dance floor". I really don't know about dances.

Of course I knew it was just for fun. Not everyone's gonna sit in the corner by themselves and be depressed like me. Nonetheless, it drove me totally insane.
I wanted to run to her, shake her and yell: "What are you doing?" And at the same it thoughts like: C'mon, are you an idiot? You're not even dating her, you don't have any rights. Who do you think you are by asking for her actions? ticked in my mind.

At that moment I really hated myself. Because I let myself get angry. Because I couldn't control myself. Where did your principles disappear, Jason? my subconsciousness said with sarcasm. But why I hated myself the most, was because I couldn't confess my feelings.

23.09.12

MNLS #19: Messed up love stories

I don't know what about you but I have some kind of tradition. When I visit a city, I, of course, need to get something from there. And as Melbourne is one of those cities in Australia they call shopping centers .. then yeah, the next day consisted of our class"despoiling" the shops.

Because even though I loved my little Orbost, there wasn't that mega important (for me) shop like H&M. That was our main target of course.

"Well, I don't know," Micha peeked through the curtain again. "What do you think?"
She stepped out the cab and twirled before me in an indefinite colored - maybe a mix of pink and beige? - dress with gathered bottom.
I pursed my lips, thinking. Despite of the dress' strange color, I liked it a lot and it fit Micha really good. "I like that one,"

"Me, too," She turned to face the mirror. "But $20! I don't even know..." Then she shut up as she saw Craig walking around.
I bit my lip, so the guy wouldn't see my crazy grinning. Micha was really discreet about the feelings - if it was her case -, but it was obvious she was attracted to Craig .. a lot.

She slipped back into the cab and I did the same, sending a look at Craig who had a weird smirk on his face. I didn't exactly know what it could mean, but assumed he liked the dress. Or Micha in that dress. Or just Micha. At all.

"Micha, dear," I jerked the curtain aside a little and saw Micha's happy face in the mirror.
It seems, Craig is not the only oneHow to get them together? "You gotta buy this dress,"
She raised her brow. "For what?" She asked, though, she had already made a choice in her mind.

I smirked. "Because someone likes that," And then fled back into my cabin, so she couldn't say anything to me.
Yeah, we act really weird about each others' "guys".
It was true. We all took part in creating each others' relationship, that was a really interesting process.

"Micha?" I breathed after putting on another dress. "Tell me if it's..." I couldn't finish as Micha had already jerked the curtain away and stand there, sucking for air.
"Whoa, it looks like it's made for you. You know you gotta get it, right?"

The dress was really pretty. Snake imitation harmonized really well with big ruffles, the dress revealed half of my back and there was a coquette ribbon, which connected my shoulder-blades.
"And guess what - only $15! I would have given everything for that,"
"Lucky you," Micha said with a smile. Then she returned to her cabin and said: "I think I should get that one. $20 is not that much," I presumed she had a big smile on her face as she thought about someone specific. I was the same.

After about half an hour we had finished our shopping tour, which had lasted for a couple of hours, and there were black and pink shoulder-off tunic, bracelet with pearls and big pink stones and, as I liked the Far East culture, Indian bracelet. Like you can see, I really like different accessories.

And as I exited the shop with two shopping bags, that time with Cassie as I had gone into Jam Factory with her in the meanwhile - after SMS "you just need to see their minis", she meant as dresses as skirts by that -, I had a surprise waiting for me. And hell yeah, she thought, if I had already talked with Jason last night a bit, then he'll be smitten by how I look today in my new clothes. So I told her we had to hope he'll get overwhelmed before some drunk tourists.

But sorry for changing the topic. I started talking about a surprise and .. actually got to it. Well, when I and Cassie got out of the shop, sunglasses on eyes to protect us from ablaze sun, my eyes automatically drifted to Jason, though, he was in the middle of our group - the ones who had finished their shopping for a long time ago and waited for the guide -, and almost fainted because his eyes .. he looked by turns at my bag and then at me, and then his eyes locked with mine - actually mine got locked with his, because my sunglasses were dark enough, so he couldn't see I was practically eyeing him -, and they had a message like: "Girl, I wanna see what you got there. At you."

My god.
"Are you having a crazy eye-rape right now?" Cassie asked, giggling, though she was looking in totally other direction. I guess, it was just covering.
"You can't even imagine," I gave Jason my bright smile, though, I'm not sure he got it, as he couldn't know I was glaring at him through my dark glasses.

***

Jason

"Whoa, it looks like it's made for you. You know you gotta get it, right?" I heard Micha's voice from somewhere Craig just got out, and as I saw her coming in with Caro, I guess it was about the girl.
I had an urge to see that, whatever it was, on her. It could be even underwear. Okay, that was perverse. Sorry for my thoughts.

I saw Craig sitting on the bench, his head between hands, and though I actually planned to look around in the shop as well, I decided to go to him and ask what's wrong, as he was one of not many I could call a friend. Besides, it kept me from going to the cabs, hoping to see Caro "accidentally".

"Yo, man, what's up?" küsisin, potsatades tema kõrvale.
"Ah, see oled sina," Ta toetas selja vastu riiulit. "Ei, ma siin niisama,"
"Tüdrukutemured?" küsisin, kuigi ma ei olnud inimene, kes ennast tavaliselt teiste suhetesse segaks. Kuid vahel tuleb oma põhimõtetest üle olla, kui asi on kelleski, keda sa võid nimetada oma sõbraks.
"Võib ka nii öelda,"

"Michelle?" I asked by the way.
He approved my fact by looking at me, half-scared. "How do you know?"
I shrugged. "Just wanted to be sure,"
"It's just like .. I don't know. I like her, a lot, but I think I'm not right for her,"

Please, don't tell me a story of my life. "Why?" Craig wasn't in mafia and was a totally normal guy. He was smart, good-looking and he didn't have any affairs.
"She thinks I'm a player, you know. As I socialize with Cyle and them,"
"You socialize with me, too," I said, joking.

"Yeah, but .. I don't know,"
I really wanted to help him, but I wasn't good at that relationship thing. I put my hand on his shoulder. "Listen, I don't know much 'bout that, but I suggest to give her some hints. Maybe she'll like you if she doesn't already,"
"You think?"

I don't know why I had this feeling, but I was suddenly so sure Micha likes Craig. Maybe Caro had told me? I wound all the conversations with her in my head - mhm, I really remembered them all -, but didn't remember anything. I guess, I was too focused on .. "us". "Yes," I said before he could notice my deep thoughts.

Craig's words kept running through my head and I needed to get rid of them fast, before I could storm into Caro's cab and tell her everything. I looked around and noticed swimpants' section.
Great, I need these.

***

Once in a while I turned my gaze at the shop's door where Caro and Cassie entered a hour ago.
She really likes to keep me waiting? My thoughts stopped when my alter ego reminded me who keeps who waiting.
Chantal told me: "Dude, you can't avoid her forever," and for the last a couple of weeks I was thinking about how I should talk to her.

The problem was mostly about me not knowing at all what should I tell her. While analyzing my thoughts, it would be logical to ask her to be my girlfriend. But I didn't know if she was a good actress. I mean, even if we started dating, Zack mustn't know, 'cause you never know what that bastard could to her... And if I told Caro we had to hide our relationship, how well she could pretend?
I had no idea.

The sun was still blazing, though it was nearly 5 PM. I reset my sunglasses and looked at the shop doors again. Two girls were leaving it. Of course I knew who they were immediately.
Car had now two bags in her hands and I wanted to know what she got. I eyed her for long 'til it occured to me that my sunglasses weren't that dark I could glare at someone without that someone noticing.

But before I could look somewhere else, I saw Cassie smirking and when she looked at others, I assumed she was smirking because of me, though. Unlike her, Caro had glasses on, but as I knew her, I knew she was following me closely every second.
And when she smiled at me brightly, I felt myself happier than ever while being with Jade. Just because of a smile. And then I understood what is love.

19.09.12

MNLS #18: Melbourne, Melbourne - the city of dreams



"But would you actually handle that? I mean, he comes and starts talking with you about this?" These were Chantal's word addressed to me when we left to our last trip in the ninth grade, where she couldn't come, unfortunately
And I answered totally sincerely: "I don't know,"

Because .. I actually had thought about this a lot. How we could meet and talk was the though which never left me the last month. Even though I really wanted to - and needed to - do that, I had absolutely no idea how it should be. Like what I should say and what to say later and of course how he reacts to all of that and what he's gonna say.

It was really hard, but I handled that somehow. Like Chantal said: "You have handled that for pretty long time," which she was surprised about as well. What can I say .. I don't know even by myself how I actually succeeded at it.

But there I was, on the ship which took us to a beautiful city Melbourne and I was thinking is there's gonna be something and how. According to Jason's logic, it could happen only somewhere where anyone couldn't see us - the deck, for example.  And actually I was in the same opinion as he was 'cause .. okay, mostly because of Zack as he could make too much noise out of nothing and I don't know what it would lead to. Or there are another classmates who could remember my blog and .. yeah, there would be drama again.

So, yeah, whatever was about to happen at that trip, it had to happen somewhere where there were no people. And if you think about how our classmates would move around the ship .. it's gonna be hard as hell.

We put to sea at 7 PM, as we could only use 2 days from our school year to our trips. It was actually pretty amazing as we could party in the club for two days!

At first we found our cabs and unpacked our things. After two hours there was a dinner which was freaking good. What I like about eating on ships, is that you have a smörgåsbord  where you actually can eat everything. From oysters to sorbet, crabs to different nuts, roast pork to .. okay, it was too big divagation. It's not that interesting. Let's go back to our adventures.

The dinner was for about 1,5 hours, which meant we eat for like half of that and then went back to the cabs to watch Eurovision. Only a bit as at 11 PM at SeaPub, karaoke was about to start, and of course we had to go there. And, oh, please don't forget we also had to visit Ibiza later.
Mhm, it was fun as fuck.

But let's follow the time and go on.
Watching Eurovision was more like haranguing it, 'cause c'mon, where the hell are normal and deep songs?
Michelle started to switch channels sometime and stopped on .. yes, I get totally disgusted by mentioning that, but she stopped on porn and forced me to watch this as she thought I need some "education" in case I want something with Jason.

Happily, Cassie was convincing enough and that horror lasted for max 8 minutes.

Then we happened to look at the clock which quarter to eleven, so we decided to dress up: me - blue bleached jean shorts, dark gold sequin top and brown frilly heels, Cassie - white ruffled mini skirt, gold airy top and white "laced" heels, Micha - jean jumpsuit, grey bolero and purple studded ballerinas. We left our hair to fall freely and put on minimal make up - only a little bit of mascara and I made arrows with liner. We were to go.

***

"Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace"

Jamie and Nick sang John Lennon's "Imagine" and it was soooo amazing. Some people truly have talent.
I had an amazing being as well as I could sit next to Jason.
Karaoke bars usually have tables and chairs on one side, then somethings looking like bean bag chairs in the middle and sofas at the walls. At least the one we were at was like that.

So how I got next to Jason? Let's say, the sofas were occupied before, then Josh was sitting there and when he went wondering, we occupied them. And Jason .. just came one moment and sat on the other sofa, but leaned against "our" sofa's armrest. So much of "don't make it look wrong".

However, sure, it's overrated. When one classmate sits next to you, it's totally normal, right. I mean, no one is about to run around and couple you two. It's my own stupidity I make drama of that. Just because it
s special to me.

Sure, Zack wouldn't leave it alone. But as I hadn't seen him for the whole evening, I decided Jason chills out as his "best friend" is not around.
One time, Josh appeared and asked if he could sit next to Jason, which meant he sat between me and Jason as Jason's sofa was occupied once again.
Yeah, that's how it was - an endless flow of people.

Soon, the chirping ended and the younger crowd, which we were 90% of, I'll tell you who were the other 10, moved to Ibiza. There was just perfect music - I mean nowadays dance hits, okay - and we could chill out properly.

We = 99% of our class, because, oh what a surprise - Jason does not dance. You know what he did? He occupied one of the big sofas which were around the tables and just watched us. I'm not about to over react now and tell you he looked at me, not that I don't want to, of course. But to comfort myself, I can say, when I stopped by bar table to chat with Cassie, Micha or whoever else from my class and rest my feet, and happened to look at him - on purpose of course -, I found his eyes eyeing me.

Sadly it was all about glaring only that time. Because when something really interesting happened, I assumed something more from Jason. But I'll tell you in no minutes.
The story was, when we were partying in Ibiza for about half an hour, some men tourists staggered there. They were about 20 to 25 years old. And being drunk meant besides shouting being topless if you ask them. Nice, right?

Our cheerleader girls were totally okay with that - you wanna dance, let's dance. But look, when someone comes and grabs me by my hips, pressing against his stomach and .. other things, then I'm mildly saying annoyed. Mildly saying, because I did the following: turned around in a moment, looked at that bastard who allowed himself to touch me for a millisecond and in the following seconds he got a strident slap on the ear - it wasn't heard thank to the music -, and ran away.

Actually, I wanted to run away, but as Cassie saw everything, she got time to grab me and instead of letting me run I-don't-know-where, she lead me to the sofa... Exactly to the one Jason was sitting on.
"Are you alright?" Cassie asked loudly to be heard over the music. And over my screaming as well as I just yelled for 5 minutes. Post-factum, I must have looked really stupid but I was just shocked.

I nodded and leaned on the backrest, calming myself. I happened to look at Cassie for a second and that's why I caught a short, but worried look she sent to Jason. I furrowed my brows, not getting why she was worried, and looked at Jason, who I remembered about just now.
In his eyes was something wondrous strange. It was dark and I could never be sure, but I saw how he frowned and trailed the dance floor. And then there was something in his eyes .. something I couldn't detect because of the darkness. I tilted my head with interest, trying to get the whole thing.

***

Jason

I have no idea how I resisted. It really needed a massive self-control. Instead of sitting here calmly, I wanted to freaking jump up, storm to the dance floor immediately and just beat, beat, beat this guy...

By all rights, he had just had his hands all over Caro would say someone who hadn't any feelings for that angelic girl. But I was boiling with anger as someone dared to do that. Maybe I had been calmer if I hadn't heard her screaming just minutes ago. Just screaming, because of anger and despising. And that was what added fuel to the fire.

But my being in mafia wasn't vain. It wasn't something like just job. It was something to your whole life being, where you can study something new all the time. And when you once are someone from mafia, then you does not simply sit emotionless when someone is all over your girl. Oh, you don't. No, you have a plan in your head already.

***

Caro

"Well, you know, I think it would be amazing if he actually beat him up," I told Cassie when we sat on that sofa again. Jason went wandering somewhere which made me sad, but I put a smile on my face to others.
"It would," Cassie agreed and glared at the place Jason sat.

"But he won't," I sighed silently. "You know him,"
Cassie nodded. "I do. But I also do know you. Look, he went wandering somewhere. Zack's on the dance floor. You could talk to him, quietly and privately."
I frowned. Cassie's plan seemed easy, but... "Where could I find him?"
She pointed at one of the doors. "I'm pretty sure he'll be back soon. But he left that way,"

I shrugged as even though I was afraid, I knew it would be a chance. No matter I wanted to talk to him later. Because that talk had to happen somewhere else, not on the ship, half-fulled of drunk tourists. I just thought I could get to know something. We could have just a pointless conversation, whatever. That's why I stood up and went to find Jason around the ship.

***

Jason

With a right hook he teetered a bit, but as I punched him in the stomach, he was on the ground. I wasn't about to beat him to death, no, of course not - why would I need problems on our school trip? A couple of kicks with legs to the stomach would be enough.
"That's for Caro," I muttered, punching him for the last time.

In mafia, you are taught how much and with what force you gotta punch to kill person and how much to just get him/her senseless. That's why I knew when to stop.
I was about to return when I heard someone's steps come closer.
Oh, crap, no one should get here now. Who is there .. oh.

Caro looked at me shyly, stopping some meters away. As I had vented out all my anger and she could never drive me insane, I smiled at her. Then my gaze wondered at her clothes, and that drove me insane.
She just may not wear anything like that. No, wait, Jason, you don't want she would see that. Um, think about something, you gotta get back to the saving darkness of the club.

"What are you doing here?" I asked first thing that got on my mind, and immediately regretted that as it sounded so dumb. Like it's my thing to control where she goes.
"Um..." Her eyes mirrored confusion and embarrassment, so it made me think if she came for me. How stupid of you. She would never do anything like that.

"It's cold outside," I said with a tone like I was about to teach her Ohm's law. "Let's get back inside?"
Unable to say anything, she nodded. I walked to her and we went back along the corridors to the club.

"Why don't you dance?" she asked suddenly, after getting some power or whatever.
I shrugged. "It's just not my thing,"
"How can anyone not like dancing?" She cerebrated and I didn't exactly understand whether she asked me or herself. But I knew she likes talking to me and to avoid awkward silence, I decided to answer.
"I think, the problem is I can't,"

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "But it's like club dance .. you just .. move yourself in the rhythm of music,"
"Maybe I don't like dancing to that music?"
"Mm..." She thought for a second. "What would you like dance to? Classic music?"
I shook my head. "No, I think it's silly. I don't like ballroom dances."

She got lost in her mind for some time and our conversation could have been longer unless I had felt some buzzing in my pocket, which meant my boss called me.
"Hey, I gotta go to my cab for a second. Ibiza is just here, you can handle that, right?"
She looked at me unundestandably, then blushed and muttered: "So you saw that,"

I wanted to tell her everything's alright, that the bastard is lying somewhere there and will never hurt her again, but it would have been too heavy breach of law. Even though, I told her once the laws are for breaking, I also knew that omerta was more than just a law
So I sent her another look and went to the cabs.

15.09.12

MNLS #17: Our little sexual fantasies


Usually they say, when you fall in love, your friend will lose half of you. I think it was like that lately because Jason was in every second sentence I said and even though, girls didn't react - except Michelle of course - I knew very well it's driving them insane.

But that wasn't the point. Why I mentioned my best friends now - because they had a very big role in my life, when my love story was nonexistent. They helped me, cheered up and of course came up with different scenarios as about how I could meet Jason and get things straight between us as well as random stories about usual school days. As Jason did something, it encouraged them even more.

In school, we had that thing that each class has to help in the cloakroom for some weeks. But our previous form misterin was so caring she forgot to tell us we got that week.
As I've already told you, I came quite early at school - because I actually could sleep for 15 more minutes and come to school later and these 15 minutes could be really saving in some case - to "be" with Jason more, though sometimes it happened, that I reached school before him - these moments when we came together were awesome of course .. Sorry, deviation of a topic. Again.

Anyway, Chantal waited for me and this morning wasn't an exception. But as we started to walk up the stairs, the cloakroom lady - terrible, mean and evil bitch - told us we gotta help her today.
As we didn't have any tests that day, we stayed to get away with it in the beginning.

We were already in the gaps when I heard the familiar steps - you won't think I'm weird as I can make him out just by steps, will you? - and after a couple of seconds, Jason appeared. He had his white T-shirt on what hugged his amazing body and drove me totally insane.

And then I realized I can talk to him. I mean, I had a reason to and he wouldn't look at me strangely and .. my stupid thoughts. I don't think anyone would look strangely at a girl who is in love with him. However, that's how I was at that time - a coward and scaredy-cat.

"Uhm .. Jason?" I leaned on the barrier and looked at the guy. I could feel Chantal's look at me and I could say she was proud of me as I finally got over that. Not a big deal, but still.
Some couples of seconds he ignored me. As I assumed later, it was because I didn't say it loud enough - a coward and scaredy-cat, like I said. 

But then he sensed my gaze or something - not that I wouldn't glare at him usually, but I didn't do it for so long and intensively -, finally he looked at me questionably.
Okay, questionable was his look for a millisecond he turned to face me. 'Cause then his eyes wandered to my clothing, to my upper clothing - which was flowery corset which showed well my .. cleavage - and never said what he planned to say.

"We just found out that..." I tried to make my voice sound normal, not shaky and ignore his glare as much as possible"Anyway, we gotta help here,"
"A.. h .. ahh," His voice was disrupted and shaky as well which made me understand I wasn't the only one who felt strange.

Someone coughed and I realized Chantal was here as well and - oh, god! - the cloakroom lady, too.
Awkward, awkward, awkward.
Jason somehow "woke up", too, understanding how much information his behavior gave out - thank god, only three of the whole class came that early -, he turned and went to change his shoes.

Chantal jumped to me for a second, whispering: "It seems you're not the only one who gets crazy by the other's clothing," and stormed back to get the shoes' bags.
I smiled to myself like I was insane - I actually was one - and started working, too.

Our supernatural creature didn't take much time to change his booties and he was here pretty soon .. in the gap next to me. It made me smile even more, but after 5 minutes the urge to kill took over. As our cloakroom lady decided there were too few people where I was - it was the gap of 7th grade, I guess -, so she sent me to the kids - 5th grade.

I stomped there angrily, but didn't have much time to think as there were loads of people there and they couldn't tell me the numbers normally, so it took time till I got that interesting job like taking the coats and shoes' bags into my hands. After some years training we because the masters in that profession, though.

At 8, after being thanked for the job, I stormed to the bench I let my things, packed the scattered thing into the bag and ran with Chantal and Cassie - she, Jamie and Owen joined us as there were needed 6 people - to the Math class.

While on the road, Cassie told me about her assumptions.
"When I came, I didn't see you immediately, so I went to our gap. Then I saw, that, oh god, your things are tossed around the bench - headphones and some notebooks and stuff - and he was gadding there and, you know, I thought if he really took all his courage together and tossed you on the bench and you know." She made a face which explained her emotions so well.

Chantal shook her head, laughing. "And you couldn't come up with anything more logical?" She sent a look behind us, where some meters far Jason should have been, and added: "Your shorts are working as good as the corset. His eyes are at your fit butt,"
"I thank you for that," I nodded complimentary and turned to Cassie. "And?"

"Well, I thought maybe UFOs stole you or something..."
"It really sounds more logical," Chantal said, still laughing. In case, it wasn't even sarcasm.
And let's be honest here, I may say it was more likely than the first choice, which I would obviously like more, but let it be. "UFOs, huh? Something really better,"

"I saw you in the gap later and stuff, but still..."
"The thought remains," I said for her.

MNLS #16: Jason, my dear, why are you so not Jason?


It's always fun to talk to Chantal. Mostly 'cause she can encourage you - if need, by shouting as much as it's possible in MSN -, to talk to your crush. Or she can come out with something awesome.

"Btw, I had a REALLY crazy idea today,"
"Yes?"
"When you and youknowwho meet .. The crazy idea was about to ask him to join our team, write a song to Eurovision, go there, compete, get to the final and give ourselves a break in some cool country :D
And no, I did NOT mean it :D"
"Yes, you did, you're wonderful. But I cannot sing,"

"You wouldn't. You could .. dance, for instance,"
"Aww. I know! Cassie will exercise on the stage, Jason will play guitar ja Ian plays the piano! You will sing and play the violin?"
"xD,"

"If we take Scott, it will be 6 people which is max. We'll be all 17 next year as well,"
* Scott was Chantal's boyfriend. *
"So, you'll dance, Scott and Ian will play the piano and I and Jason play the guitar,"
"No, you'll play the violin,"
"Don't wanna,"

"Violins are in lately. You can also write a story for us. And Micha will help with the moves,"
"I want to help Jason,"
"Not meaning it that way, but never mind. Btw,I REALLY like the idea,"
"You know it's quixotic, right?"

"It's not,"
"If it was feasible, someone would have tried it already,"
"But Eurovisioonis full of young people. C'mon, let's give it a try at least :D"
"Still. Besides, Eurovision has a "secret". The song has to be with an amazing show and striking,"

"We have. Micha is the choreograph,"
"Let's hope she won't be upset we won't take her on stage with us :D"
"Right,"
"Unbelievable. We're planning a totally IMPOSSIBLE thing,"

"It's not! You can ask Jason,"
"Oh no. DON'T tell him,"
"Already writing, you know :D"

Then we started to look through photos girls did during the day. Don't ask me why I had a camera with me as I really didn't remember. But after the lunch, there was a funny photo shoot in the English' class.
At first it was okay, when we, rather they, took pictures of each other. But when they started to take pictures of Jason, it all took a strange turn.

How, you ask. Micha and Cassie sit before us and they pretended to take pictures of me, but instead the objective was targeting Jason. We're crazy, I know.
"There's lots of Jason,"I wrote as we had gone through almost 20 photos, all with him.
"Yeah. Look, it looks like he's hiding from the camera here,"
"Behind Caroline's protecting shoulder :D Gosh, why are they loading for so long :S"

"Right,"
"You know how impatient I am,"
"Are you? You have held on really good,"
"That's why I am impatient! Although the last weeks I have that feeling everything's gonna be okay. Then again .. 'Don't fly too high or you're gonna fall',"

"Right. But I think he will be gentle then,"
"Just that .. so many things have happened lately .. and Melbourne, too .. ah,"
* Our last journey in the 9th grade was to Melbourne. *
"I have a hypothesis what will happen,"

"Mh?"
"But that and the other one are 50-50. Sorry, I can't."
"Mew. Tell me. I really like your hypotheses,"
"Let's just say one will end well and the other one not. But both include the fact he likes you. And why I can't? Because it will be telling the only thing I haven't told you yet. He was hesitant in this case, too, so..."

"Right. If only he knew I know the most of it..."
"I really hope he WON'T,"

***

Sometime after a few days



Like I've already said, "too many things have happened lately".
I don't know what to wait from Melbourne and the Christmas party, seriously.
Look, I totally like it when Jason is near me. It makes me feel safe, not mentioning wealth. But when you don't know what your loved one feels for you and he's acting strange, everything's really messed up.

What Jason did, you ask. I'll tell you.
Remember the time he decided to sit just a table from me? I hope you do. Anyway, we were in the same (mu favorite) classroom.
Half of the class was bypast when teacher started to write the words on the board.

And as Dean sat almost crossways with the board, he obviously couldn't see anything what was written on the board. "If you can't see, then you come and sit on the better place" should be normal's person logic.
I don't know if Dean knew about "me and Jason", but the following made me think he did. He whispered something to Jason and Jason simply .. shifted himself to the chair just before me. I mean, now he really was before me, his table crossways with mine.

I cocked my head as a cat and observed him for some time. Next moment Chantal was nudging me with her elbow as telling me staring is not polite, trying to remain serious at the same time at which she wasn't especially successful. I smiled at her and shook my head.
"I'll never understand him," I murmured, almost laughing.

When the lesson was over, Jason got his things packed with his supernatural creature's speed and moved to the door. But lately - as I always wanted to be close to him, closer than I should have been -, I learned how to be as fast as he was.
If it was possible to learn that...

Jason opened the door and, I guess, because the window was already open, the gust, which started from the door, passed the class, sending wonderful flush of air with Jason's scent. I mean with his eau de toilette's scent...


When Chantal reached my side, I whispered my thoughts to her and she smirked.
"Do you have anything against that?"
I thought for a second. I really hadn't. "No, but I immediately get that lotion advertisement feeling,"
"Haha," she laughed, "It really starts to seem like 'Princess Diaries',"
I agreed with her in that case.

I can't be sure, but I want to think Jason got an energy boost from sitting near me - stupid, I know - 'cause he just couldn't get his mouth shut in English.
Oh, right, I'm not sure if I mentioned, but that was the Physics class where he and Dean sat behind us. I did now.

Because of that closeness I could hear almost everything they talked about - another quality Jason "helped" me to acquire.
Whatever happened in that lesson - it was one of the last lesson that school year -, but the teacher asked us different cases and syllables and whatever else.

For example to the question/ask "name a word with two syllables" which was meant to Jamie, Jason answered as well. He did it quietly, though, so he would be heard only by nearbyers - not sure if it was on purpose, a'la to "impress" me, or accidentally - you never know in his case. What he said?

"Doggy," And it was told with the childish tone as well.

Listen, it's not actually that funny. But when you hear it from a person like Jason who usually isn't the fool of the class, and don't forget to mention he was my crush, then yes, I couldn't help but gruff. The childish voice helped it, too.

And when the teacher asked me something - can't remember what exactly - and I answered silently like I always did while in the class - if only you heard me in the free time... -, she asked: "Can you please say it louder?"
Jason had to answer again. "Surely not,"
I rolled my eyes, trying not to laugh, though it was nothing special.

For others.

MNLS #15: That was fun. Let's do it again sometime

Back in the past, I never understood people who told me that when the one you love touches you, you get washed over by a wave of heat - it's stupid, after all. But thinking back, I really misunderstood love. I assume that's because I never felt that before.

Thanks to Jason, everything changed. Now, lying in a bed and smiling like an idiot, I still think about what happened at school, and I'm happy, he gifted me something like that. 'Cause love is something all the people should experience.

A little note before I tell you what happened. For example, Michelle thinks love is pointless. Overrated and stuff. But I say, as you once feel it, you understand how special it is. And I pretty much believe she will soon, as we all see how she and Craig look at each other.

Though, I don't think you care 'bout that. Bet you're waiting for my talk, why my 16th birthday was special. I could say, it really was my sweet sixteen. And sweet not only because I have about 60 muffins at home besides 36 my classmates got. It was 'cause .. no, I won't just tell you. Get in my head and watch that memory.

***

Actually, I was pretty sure my birthday will be nothing special. Jason would say that b-days are overrated, but I wasn't that immune. I wouldn't have baked so much muffins previous day otherwise, right?
Okay, okay, I would have because I wanted to impress someone .. A LOT.

The beginning of the day wasn't too much hopeful, too. Cassie and Micha wished me happy birthday and gave me a chocolate bar (as we were about to celebrate our b-days soon, 'cause they were quite near, we would give the real presents later). Some girls .. and guys from my class, Cyle, for instance, came to congratulate and hug me, too. And were all excited because of muffins. Which, in case, was the very special moment.

I decided to hand out the muffins in our native language lessons, mostly, 'cause I liked our teacher back then, not that I don't like the one we have now, but deviate from the topic. First 5 minutes I just stood before class with this freaking box, looking wherever my eyes decided to and trying not to look someone in the eye. You know that feeling when you stand in the front of class and everyone's singing "Happy birthday to you!" or whatever and you just stay there, thinking: What the hell should I do now?

But it was the only con of that. After that I started to share muffins and everyone were happy they didn't get candies again. Jason sat in the row located by the door and I started from the other side (not on purpose, but because teacher's table was there), so it took some time to reach him. Although, I guess, it was worth it

Anyway, I reach his table and put the box on it - so Dean could get his muffin at the same time - and just then he does something really crazy. He holds out his hand as if wanting to take the box or wish me happy birthday or whatever he got on his mind. As a result, our hands just touch.

'Just' was in italics as it was sarkasm. One does not simply call it 'just touch'. It was .. fire. Avalanche. Volcano. Nuclear bomb? Yeah, kinda. You can't even imagine what this little touch did to me. Besides - hell yea, I saw what it did to him -, he looks at me with his amazing bright green eyes and says, "Happy birthday!"

I look at him, too, confusion, love and passion in my eyes - I really hope he didn't see that much - and answer, smiling and blushing lightly, "Thanks,"

And instead of attacking him or whatever I had in mind - I know I'm too straightforward, but that's just me -, I keep sharing muffins (there were two more tables after him, that). And then I reach the teacher's table where the empty box is. I take the binding, wanting to cover the box with 5 other muffins (the other teachers got them later), but something unexpected happens.

I'm not exactly sure what it was. I guess, I never understood it completely. Maybe some Physics law or whatever. The binding is already covering the box as it "hops" out of my hands, about half meter in the air, doing some flips and flings the muffins on the floor (let's appreciate the fact they had the right side up).

Some seconds pass by. I bow down, my face the same color as tomato - fail, fail, fail! -, and start to collect them, listening to the classmates' quiet buzzing. They're not talking about me, nor even laughing. No, they've grown up and feel sorry for me. As much as it's possible. When Jamie mutter to Jan: "Nice one...", Jan answers sharply: "What are you grinning at? Things happens. You better help her,"

Thanks. Happily it doesn't take much time or many skills to collect 5 muffins, and I get ready with it in no time. Then, my face a bit more normal, I take the other (closed!) box and go sit by Cassie.

"What the hell was it?" she whispers.
"Did you see what happened when I was by his table?" I ask breathlessly - but so quietly no one notices.
She shakes her head. "I watched with a big interest as you reach him and how he congratulates you, but I didn't notice anything specific..?" She raises her voice in the end, but I'd already planned to tell her about that.

"When I was by him, he .. maybe you saw that .. he reached his hand as he was about to take the box or shake my hand. And then our hands touched,"
"And..?"
"And the storm," I finish.
"The storm?"

"Volcano, tsunami, nuclear bomb. Inside me," I explain.
"Oh..." Cassie's eyes are wide open. "And I thought you may not look at him for too long unless you want that to happen," She makes a move with her head to the teacher's table, but I'd already understood what she meant.

I never answer, but I know that his enchanting eyes, which looked at me so differently, so peculiarly has something to do with it. But his eyes are not able to do what his touch can.

And then I do something stupid. Well, I'm not sure how stupid it is, to look at someone... I look at him. And find his gorgeous eyes I was thinking about just a couple of seconds ago looking at me.

***

Jason

This girl is .. hot. No, I mustn't think of her that way .. especially of her - she's not a temperature, after all. But what else would you say when your skin touches hers and you get driven over by a earthquake? I'm not good at geography, but I can say there were lots of magnitudes. Or whatever they are... But the earthquake was mildly said.

I'd like to know what will happen when our lips once tou... Wait, what? Why would I think of that suddenly? I must not think of that, or else .. well, cute. Happily I have a table before me. And the lesson won't be over that soon.

Still. How did that happen? What is that, what makes me feel so wonderful?
With one eye I watched that amazing cute creature, how she closes the box, and with other the muffin she baked with her own hands. Thanks, Chantal.

And then I, once again, start thinking that if I'm gonna eat that, my lips are going to touch the dough her thin fingers touched, and it would be like I'm kissing her fingers.


Jason, that's stupid and fool. You shouldn't think like this. You don't have any chance now.
Then, I hear a bang, my thoughts clearing up in a moment and I understand the box is on the floor and I have no idea why, though, I've been looking at her for the whole time.
I really should stop overthinking.

I look at her once again, how her today wavy hear is framing her face as she bows down and starts collecting the cupcakes, and as her dress (Author: in the second row the first one from the left) brings out her beautiful figure. And although her face is bright red, it makes her somehow cute. And then she walks gracefully and sits by Cassie.

I scroll my thoughts back to the moment where we touched and it made a cyclone, and I think if it had the same effect on her. For a moment, I have a thought I can read it by how she is right now and sent my needing glare at her.
Maybe it wasn't a good idea, after all. Because when that amazing girl's sea blueish-grey eyes are looking at you with the same interest, you feel like you're are resigned and drowned.