29.01.12

MNLS #6: Caro? You're an idiot



"We should go out more often. Last year a primary school is sooooooooo boring,"
"It's rather sooooooooo disgusting," Cassie imitated my "so".

I sent her a look, but she ignored it.
"We will get in, right?" Micha said suddenly, thoughtfully.

"Sure," I replied. Of course, I couldn't have been sure then, but I knew that if I believe in it enough (and pass the exams), then I get in.
"I like your optimism," Cassie nodded.

"I would prefer realism in this case, but .. we are good enough to get in,"
We talked about odds and ends despite the fact that the food was eaten. We never cared at all that we are still in a café, where waitresses are sending half-angry glares, because we laugh a lot and don't order anything else.

"Oh .. my supernatural being, where you are?" I suddenly heaved a sigh, taking a sip from ice cream coctail. How awkward.

Girls chuckled, and Chan looked away. Then she chuckled more.
"Well, how should I say .. if you take a look right now, you will see him there," she said, bowing closer.

I raised a brow, looking where Chan looked and ...
"Oh crap, I didn't say it this loud, did I?" I asked sheepishly, when I saw Jason standing a few feet away from the cash register.

"Let's hope for you,"
"Same here,"

We turned once again to the cash register, just in the nick of time that Jason nodded to greet us. We did the same.

"It seems that someone just can't keep away from you. Even on the weekend," smiled Micha.
I looked at her for a second. "I don't believe in coincidences, but it can't be anything else,"

"It would be interesting, though, if it was not a coincidence. What do you think, if he attached some kind of GPS device to you?"
"Haha, very funny,"

Five minutes passed, when we saw a waiter going to Jason's table, to give him the bill.
"Seriously? 5 minutes? Did he just threw it inside himself?" Micha raised an eyebrow.

"Caro'd rather like the idea of ​​a supernatural being, '' Cassie 'corrected' her.
"Does that mean he's like a vampire who does everything too fast?" Micha said, although she hated the "Twilight"-topic.

"No," Cassie shook her head. "The fact that he is a werewolf who eats a lot and very quickly."
"Maybe you want to say that the waitress wrote 'Fido' on the plate as well?" it was meant to be sarcasm, because they made fun of me (although like girl friends, not insulting), but we started laughing instead.

"Sorry, could not understand the joke," said Micha.
"It doesn't matter, we should be tell you the whole book," Cassie said.

"But if you already want..," Chan launched, while observing Micha's face.
"No. No way," she exclaimed, so that half of the café looked at us.

"Okay, enough from 'Twilight'," I said to conciliate everyone.
"Exactly, now we will stand up, three of us will go to the bus stop and you-," Chan pointed finger at me, "-go talk to him,"

My smile vanished. "I .. what? No, I can't,"
Girls raised brows.

"Why not?" Micha couldn't understand. "It's like your chance ... No one of ours is here, so nobody will suspect."
"No, I ca't," I was stubborn.

* ... You know what can I say about it? This was probably the most embarrassing and regrettable moment of my life. (I'll tell you why embarrassing after a second). You can't even imagine how much I later thought and told myself how stupid I was.

Really, would it hurt me if I had spoken to him? That I would rather raised my mood.*

"Well, okay, it's up to you," said Cassie somehow .. ominous. And then .. - no, I still do not believe that they really did that - they went straight to where Jason went.
Friends, yeah, I snorted in my mind.

I went to another exit, and waited there for a bit, because I was sure that they will come. When they weren't in 5 minutes, I sent a message to Cassie: "Where are you?"

"Down? Waiting for you?" came the answer in 10 seconds.
Somehow, I had a feeling it didn't sound particularly friendly. I wasn't wrong.

I ran down the stairs, not suspecting anything, and I saw them there, their faces sullen and thoughtful at the same time.
"Hey, where did you disappeared?" I asked cheerfully, because I thought that the former thought was flawed. How fool I was, once again.

"Do you know what he looked like?" Chan suddenly turned towards me.
"He thought you were coming with us. I would say even hoped that," Cassie took over.

"He did everything extremely slowly, as if waiting when you show up,"
"And you didn't,"

"Oh," was the only word that came out. I felt coldness inside. Coldness? Yes, that's right, because it seemed so to him. He thinks now that I ignore him.
"Oh? Really? That's all?"

I didn't want to talk to them. At that very moment I understood how silly was the idea to get together today.
"I must go," I whispered, and, turning myself around, I broke into a run, ignoring their shouts.

I didn't run just because of running, I ran to the bus stop. His stop. I was hoping he wasn't gone yet. I hoped .. I hoped.
Pointless.

I came to the bus stop just in time - to see the bus moving further away. The bus that took him with it.
A shake went through my body, as if I would never see him again.

And then I ran again. Not following the bus, because it would have been pointlsess, and even if I had caught it, what would I have said to Jason?

I shook my head to get rid of thoughts. The only thought in my head throbbing, was, "Sea."

***

In the night sky
Are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now
Wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now
Wish right now

Yeah, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
'Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
And when you starin' at that phone in your lap
And you hopin' but them people never call you back
But that's just how the story unfolds
You get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel in the sand
What would you wish for if you had one chance?
So airplane, airplane, sorry I'm late
I'm on my way so don't close that gate
If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight
And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)

Ya, ya, somebody take me back to the days
Befo' this was a job, befo' I got paid
Befo' it ever mattered what I had in my bank
Ya, back when I was tryin' to get a tip at Subway
And back when I was rappin' for the hell of it
But nowadays we rappin' to stay relevant
I'm guessin' that if we can make some wishes outta' airplanes
Then maybe oh maybe I'll go back to the days
Befo' the politics that we call the rap game
And back when ain't nobody listen to my mixtape
And back befo' I tried to cover up my slang
But this is fo' Decatur, what's up Bobby Ray?
So can I get a wish
To end the politics
And get back to the music
That started this shit?
So here I stand and then again I say
I'm hopin' we can make some wishes outta' airplanes

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)

I could really use a wish right now
(I could really use a wish right now)
I-I-I could really use a wish right now
(I could really use a wish right now)
Like, like, like shootin' stars
(Like shootin' stars)
I-I-I-I could really use a wish right now
(I could really use a wish right now)
A wish, a wish right now
(A wish right now)

MOA #6: Caro? Sa oled idioot


"Me peaks tihedamini väljas käima. Viimane aasta põhikoolis on niiiiiii igav,"
"Pigem on ta niiiiiiiii vastik," tegi Cassie minu "nii"-d järele.

Saatsin talle pilgu, kuid ta ignoreeris seda.
"Me ju saame kõik sisse, kas pole?" sõnas äkki Micha mõtlikult.

"Muidugi," vastasin ma. Loomulikult ei saanud ma siis selles kindel olla, kuid ma teadsin, et kui ma usun sellesse piisavalt (ja teen katsed edukalt), siis ma saan sisse.
"Mulle meeldib su optimist," noogutas Cassie.

"Ma eelistaks antud juhul realismi, aga .. me oleme piisavalt head, et sisse saada,"
Me lobisesime veel tühjast-tähjast vaatamata sellele, et toit oli söödud. Meid ei huvitanud kunagi, et me passime endiselt kohvikus, kui ettekandjad meile poolvihaseid pilke saadavad, sest me naerame kõvasti ega telli midagi juurde.

"Ah .. ja kus siis minu üleloomulik olend on?" õhkasin ma äkitselt, võttes lonksu jahutavast jäätisekokteilist. Kui piinlik.
Tüdrukud muigasid ja Chan vaatas kõrvale. Seejärel muigas ta veel rohkem.

"Noh, kuidas nüüd öelda .. kui sa vaataksid praegu paremale, näeksid sa teda seal," ütles ta mulle lähemale naaldudes.
Kergitasin kulmu, vaatasin sinna, kuhu Chan vaatas ja...

"Oh crap! Ma ei öelnud ju seda nii kõvasti, eks?" pärisin hirmunult, kui nägin paari meetri kaugusel kassas seisvat Jasonit.
"Loodame seda sinu pärast,"

"Sama siin,"
Me pöörasime taaskord pilgud kassa poole, just parajal hetkel, et Jason meile tervituseks noogutaks. Tegime sama.

"Paistab, et keegi ei suuda sinust eemale hoida. Isegi puhkepäeval," naeratas Micha.
Vaatasin talle korra otsa. "Ma küll ei usu kokkusattumustesse, aga see ei saa muud olla,"

"See oleks nüüd küll huvitav, kui see poleks kokkusattumus. Mis sa arvad, kas ta pani sulle kuskile mingi GPS-seadme külge?"
"Haha, väga naljakas,"

Möödus viis minutit, kui me nägime ettekandjat Jasoni laua juurde minemas, et talle arve viia.
"Tõepoolest? 5 minutit? Kas ta viskas selle endale kõik lihtsalt sisse?" kergitas Micha kulmu.

"Carole meeldiks pigem üleloomuliku olendi mõte," 'parandas' teda Cassie.
"Kas see, et ta on nagu vampiir, et teeb kõike liiga kiiresti?" küsis Micha, kuigi ta vihkas "Videviku"-teemat.

"Ei," raputas Cassie pead. "See, et ta on libahunt, kes sööb väga palju ja kiiresti."
"Äkki tahad sa veel öelda, et ettekandja kirjutas ta taldriku peale 'Pontu'?" see oli mõeldud sarkasmina, kuna nad tegid mu kulul nalja (kuigi sõbrannalikult, mitte solvanguna), aga me hakkasime selle koha peale hoopis naerma.

"Sorry, ei saanud naljast aru," sõnas Micha.
"Vahet pole, me peaks sulle ju kogu raamatu siis rääkima," vastas Cassie.

"Aga kui sa juba tahad," alustas Chan, jälgides samal ajal Micha nägu.
"Ei! Mitte mingil juhul," karjatas ta, nii et pool kohvikut vaatas meie poole.

"Okei, aitab 'Videvikust'," laususin ma kõikide lepituseks.
"Täpselt, me nüüd kõik ilusti tõuseme püsti, meie kolmekesi liigume peatusse ja sina-" Chan osutas näpuga minu peale, "-lähed temaga rääkima,"

Mu naeratus kustus. "Ma .. mida? Ei, ma ei saa,"
Tüdrukud kergitasid kulmu.

"Miks ei saa?" ei saanud Micha aru. "See on nagu .. su võimalus. Kedagi meie omadest pole, keegi ei hakka kahtlustama ka."
"Ei, ma ei saa," olin ma põikpäine.

* ... Teate, mis ma selle koha pealt öelda oskan? See oli tõenäoliselt kõige piinlikum ja kahetsusväärseim moment minu elus. (kohe saate ka teada, miks piinlikuim) Te ei kujuta ettegi, kui palju ma hiljem sellest momendist mõtlesin ja endal juukseid katkusin vaid sellepärast, et ma olin nii loll.

Tõepoolest, oleks see mult tükki rebinud, kui ma temaga oleks veel rääkinud? See oleks mul pigem tuju tõstnud. *

"No olgu, ise tead," lausus Cassie kuidagi .. kurjakuulutavalt. Ning siis .. - ei, ma ei usu siiani, et nad seda tõepoolest tegid - läksid nad otse sinna, kuhu Jason suundus.
Sõbrannad, mis, turtsatasin ma mõttes.

Ma liikusin teise väljapääsu poole ning ootasin seal veidi aega, sest ma olin kindel, et nad tulevad. Kui neid 5 minuti pärast ei olnud, saatsin ma Cassie'le sõnumi: "Kus te olete?"

"All? Ootame sind?" saabus vastus 10 sekundi pärast.
Millegipärast oli mul tunne, et see ei kõlanud juba eriti sõbralikult. Ma ei pannud mööda.

Lippasin trepist alla, arvamata midagi, ning nägin neid seal, tusased ja samal ajal mõtlikud näod peas.
"Hei, kuhu te kadusite?" laususin rõõmsalt, sest arvasin, et endine mõte oli ekslik. Kui loll olin ma taaskord olnud.

"Kas sa tead, milline ta välja nägi?" pöördus Chan järsult minu poole.
"Ta arvas, et sa tuled meiega. Ma ütleks isegi, et lootis," võttis Cassie üle.

"Ta tegi kõike eriti aeglaselt, justkui oodates, millal sa välja ilmud,"
"Ja sa ei ilmugi,"

"Oh," oli ainuke, mis üle mu huulte tuli. Ma tundsin külmust enda sees. Külmust? Jah, just nii, sest nii paistis see talle. Ta arvab nüüd, et ma ignoreerin teda.
"Oh? Tõesti? See on kõik?"

Ma ei tahtnud enam nendega rääkida. Just selsamal hetkel leidsin ma, kui rumal oli idee täna kokku saada.
"Ma pean minema," sosistasin ma ning, pöörates end ümber, pistsin jooksu, ignoreerides nende hüüdeid.

Ma ei jooksnud niisama, ma jooksin peatusse. Tema peatusse. Ma lootsin, et ta ei olnud veel läinud. Lootsin .. lootsin.
Mõttetult.

Ma jõudsin peatusse täpselt õigeks ajaks - et näha eemalduvat bussi. Bussi, mis viis ta endaga.
Mu keha läbis värin, justkui ei näeks ma teda enam kunagi.

Ning siis jooksin ma uuesti. Mitte bussi järel, sest see olnuks mõttetu, ja isegi, kui ma oleksin talle järele jõudnud, mis ma oleks Jasonile öelnud?
Raputasin pead, et vabaneda mõtetest. Ainuke mõte, mis mu peas tuksles, oli: "Meri."

***

In the night sky
Are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now
Wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now
Wish right now

Yeah, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
'Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
And when you starin' at that phone in your lap
And you hopin' but them people never call you back
But that's just how the story unfolds
You get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel in the sand
What would you wish for if you had one chance?
So airplane, airplane, sorry I'm late
I'm on my way so don't close that gate
If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight
And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)

Ya, ya, somebody take me back to the days
Befo' this was a job, befo' I got paid
Befo' it ever mattered what I had in my bank
Ya, back when I was tryin' to get a tip at Subway
And back when I was rappin' for the hell of it
But nowadays we rappin' to stay relevant
I'm guessin' that if we can make some wishes outta' airplanes
Then maybe oh maybe I'll go back to the days
Befo' the politics that we call the rap game
And back when ain't nobody listen to my mixtape
And back befo' I tried to cover up my slang
But this is fo' Decatur, what's up Bobby Ray?
So can I get a wish
To end the politics
And get back to the music
That started this shit?
So here I stand and then again I say
I'm hopin' we can make some wishes outta' airplanes

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)

I could really use a wish right now
(I could really use a wish right now)
I-I-I could really use a wish right now
(I could really use a wish right now)
Like, like, like shootin' stars
(Like shootin' stars)
I-I-I-I could really use a wish right now
(I could really use a wish right now)
A wish, a wish right now
(A wish right now)

23.01.12

OMC #26: @ Jake's place

"Ah, that," Jake grew numb for a moment, but took himself together quickly, "I'm doing our class poster, for that I need everyone's photos."
"But why are is only Caro's picture here?" asked Cassie, who was closest to me, and came to the table, as if to make sure that I'm telling truth.

"I just started to do this and there are some more pictures in the second drawer,"
Cassie sent me should-we-check-it-look. I bit my lip.

"I have a question." Micha said, "Why do the other ones in a drawer and Caro's on the desk?"
"Apparently it remained there when I was cleaning up,"

"Ookay," From her voice I could say she wasn't satisfied with the answer.
"Hey, what are you doing here for so long?" Hannah appeared in the door.

"We're coming," Jake began to move, "aren't we?"
"Mhm," we muttered in response, moving towards the door.

"It is still doubtful, I think," Alasia whispered to me.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I just do not know what to think,"

"It is doubtful," whispered Michelle from the other side.
"Just let's go now," I heard Cassie's whisper from behind.

We skipped down the stairs.
"Do you need help in the kitchen?" Alasia asked immediately, as nothing has happened.

"You could make a biscuit cake,"
"Okay,"

Girls went to the kitchen.
"Coming?" Alasia turned to me.

"I'm .. yeah, now, just change a few words with Jason,"
"Heeyy," Jason hugged me.

"Hey, you are here already?"
"I got ready earlier and was told at your home that you already went,"

"You read my thoughts, don't you?"
"It was not that hard to assume what you want to know when see me in here,"

"Well. But I'll go now, I will help in the kitchen,"
"Okay,"

I went to the kitchen, to help others.
Cassie and Micha already started making the cake bottom, Alasia and Hannah cut the fruit.

"You can grate the chocolate," Alasia told me.
I grated chocolate, then sprinkled it over the cake. It came out another unique biscuit cake.

"Mm .. you are done already?" I heardJake's voice from behind.
I closed the fridge just to discover that I am alone in the kitchen.

"Where are the others?" I asked, letting the boy's questions unanswered.
He pointed behind him, the girls had taken their places on the couch.

Are they kidding me?
"So are you ready with the cake, as I understand?" Jake repeated the question, moving closer.

I walked slowly around a table, so the table would remain between us - I still hadn't forgotten my dream. Although this is ridiculous - to see 'danger' in every movement, word, situation. "Yes, now it has to harden in the fridge,"

"Understood," said Jake, but his voice contained something that told me to be careful.
We eyed each other for a few minutes across the table.

"In the kitchen," I heard Cassie's increasing voice from the living room.
Uh .. What does this mean now? Oh ...

I returned to the fridge, where a moment I left my drinks. Jake left the kitchen, closing the door, and Jason came inside.
"Hey," I uplifted my Fizz Diamond.

"Bring out one Premium, please,"
"Wow. You just look who drinks." I said, burrowing into the fridge once again.

"Hahaa. As I usually do not drink."
"Though not at the Alasia's,"

"Nah, it was only once,"
"Well," I was about to yell 'catch' , but Jason was already before me, so I was tight between the wall and him.

"I suppose you're better than AleCoq," he attracted.
"Give it a try," I whispered, becoming all crazy from his hyper-sexy voice voice.

I think we spent too much time in the kitchen, because one moment - oh yeah, I lost track of time;) - we heard the steps, so we had to stop. It was Ed, who did not pay any attention to us, though.

I arranged slightly my tousled hair and pulled my shirt lower.
"Come on," Jason put his hand around my waist and we went into the living room.

Meanwhile, some people had joined - Sheena and Brenda, Zack, Alex, Carl, Josh, and most of the Cyle's gang.
We slammed at free sofa - surprise, surprise, there was even one free.

Someone kept this for us, for sure: D
"Look who arrived," said Cassie next to me.

"We were already thinking that you actually won't come back," Michelle joined her.
"Khm, girls, I do not believe that my kitchen is suitable for this much,"

Wait a minute. When did all shut up and began to listen to our private life? I grew numb, sinking deeper into the sofa.

"Well, folks, it's still Jason. He is introvert, so he prefers to .. piddle somewhere separately." Zack just couldn't not to be himself.
This is it. "Certainly, Zack. We are not like .. some people." I wanted to say 'like you', but although knowing that Zack had a girlfriend, I had no evidence they're making out somewhere. Ofc it was too likely.

"What kind of hint it was?" he asked suspiciously.
"Well, you know. We are somewhere alone and don't stick our noses in others' private life." I pursed my lips triumphantly. I couldn't say anything smart in these situations, but I won't let him act with me like this.

Jason squeezed my waist gently - at least he was impressed.
"You know, bro, she says right," replied a voice from somewhere beyond Cyle's voice.

Wow, what the Wheel of Fortune has hit me? Cyle personally approve my saying. Woah.
Zack did not say anything - he remained quiet on the couch, mouth locked.

"How was my kitchen .. from this perspective?"
I seek Jake with my eyes. Then looked at him seriously.
"Quite all right, man. We were very comfortable there." Jason replied for me.

18.01.12

OMC #25

"So,"
I stood perplexedly in front of my huge wardrobe, trying to find something suitable. At first I wanted to put something more revealing, but then I remembered my dream and something inside me said that if I do not want it to happen, I have to dress modestly.

* Btw, I really tried not to think about it all day and keep myself in the action, listening to music, so my thoughts wouldn't slip to Jake and .. this.*

I found light pink tunic,which  revealed a bit my shoulders, and black leggings. I plaited my hair, put on some make-up, a heart necklace and bracelet, and was ready to go. Coat, hat, scarf, boots, door.
I had to go with Jason firstly, but he had something to do, so I went with Cassie, Micha and Alasia.

At least Alasia changes my dream.
Because they lived farther, we got together at my house and then headed to Jake's.
It was all so confusing. Firstly, he almost harasses me and then just let me go, and .. STOP! Damn it, shut up, Caroline!
 
"Caroline!"
I turned around nervously. Did I talked to myself?
 
"Hey, Caro!" Alasia hugged me.
I put hair behind my ear. "Hey, yeah, you are already .. here?"

"Are you okay?" Michelle studied .. considerately. Others noticed my nervousness as well.
"Ah, lay it out," said Cassie.

"This is nothing. Oh, well, my brother got on my nerves again."
"Normal,"

"Yeah,"
Sure they'll believe it.

"Hey, it's pretty close,"
We had reached Jake's house.

"Well, yes. Have we arrived too early?"
"It should have sounded more like: 'Yay, I live next to so hot guy.', not 'Well, yes.'" Said Cassie.

I tilted my head thoughtfully. "It would .. if I wouldn't have been with Jason,"
"O my god, you're so stuck in one guy," said Michelle.

"Please do not use this Aaron's phrase. I have already an allergy to that."
Alasia waved a finger. "No, no, it does not sound like Aaron says. Look, Aaron says: 'O My Gad', but Micha said: 'O my God'."

"The big difference,"
"Yeah,"

"Actually it is - it didn't sound this funny,"
This time we all laughed, because Aaron really knew how to use that phrase. Say so, that I - and I'm not the only one - have never heard that any of the boys uses it so much and so often :D

The door opened.
"I'll see that you are already having fun here," Jake said, sweetly.

We continued sniggering quietly, all eyes directed towards me.
Uh .. what? "Hey, yeah, we are here to entertain ourselves,"

Jake waved inside. "Good to see you,"
"I suppose, that the party did not start without us, of course, did it?" Cassie studied the corridor.

"Oh yes, we waited for you,"
"So someone is here,"

"Yeah, Aaron, Jason, Hannah, Ed,"
"Jason?" I wondered.

Jake eyed me. "What is it?"
I shook my head. "Nothing,"

Girls were already exploring boy's house.
"You have a beautiful house," I heard Michelle's impressed voice.

"You want the house tour?" Jake asked.
"I ... okay, let's go," I wanted firstly to ask Jason how he got here earlier, but decided to study the house.

We went up first, Jake's brother, sister, parents and the bathroom. Then there was the dressing room.
"And this is my room," he opened the door.

"Wow, you've got a beautiful room," said Alasia.
"Thanks,"

Room was really nice ... My gaze was dented by a photograph on the table, but I didn't know how to take a look, without others noticing. I just couldn't go randomly to someone's room and immediately begin to finger things. Fortunately, the girls went inside room, as was our custom, when we explored someone's house, and I followed them.

Ten short steps, and I was at the table.
"Eh .. Jake?" I turned myself to the boy, who stood at the door waiting for us.

"Yes?" He raised his eyes from phone.
"Why do you have my picture on the table?" I showed him a picture in black and white - it was from my Facebook.

Immediately, I felt Cassie, Micha, and Alasia's gazes on me.
Cassie was just oh-what-we-got-here-now-face, Alasia looks-like-you-didn't-like-him-without-a-reason, and Micha just looked at Jake suspiciously. And I could not blame her, that she hadn't some special face as .. After all, she knew nothing about my next-previous crush.

* I thought that he was next after Jason, but the previous one, since I was now with Jason .. Okay, it was still confusing.*
And then we all turned our eyes to Jake.

14.01.12

MNLS #5: Help Me Fly

"So then on Saturday?"
"Mhm," I said slowly because I was pretty tired to the last lesson. Moreover, this last lesson was physics. Oh.

In addition, it was the lesson,where Jason sat only a passageway away from me and Chan. And of course, I had a terrible desire to watch him, but if I would have turned randomly, it would be .. Well, I dunno, weird?

Moreover, the Micha did the watching part for me when she saw that I didn't inquire pay attention. She sent another suspicious look (for about the fifth time?) in Jason's direction, so it made me only want more to know what he is doing there.

In order not to arouse suspicion, I turned my head just as much need to give Jason only side-glance.
Seeing this made me every time later same sad like he was.
Jason sat alone behind the table, dunno where all his friends are .. Okay, they stood two tables from him, and chatted. It's like no one even notice him...

If your friend is sitting alone, looking blankly in front of him-/herself, and this glance - if you care enough to go that deep - reflects the sadness and loneliness, what would you do? I would go and talk to him, comforting if necessary.
Guys, I rolled my eyes mentally.

And then suddenly he looked at me. I almost felt how his eyes was absorbing me, absorbing in his sorrow.
How long was I staring?

I turned my glare back to Micha.
"He sits there for a while, either looking at you, then watching away. It is very strange," Micha said in a low voice that no one else can hear (Chantal doesn't count).

"I think he still tries to .. you know .. get over things," Chan raised the eyes from the book.
"I am so sorry for him,"

"Go talk to him," offered Micha.
I raised an eyebrow in her direction. "And what right do I have to do that?"

"Hmm. .. I dunno, you seem to be kinda friends,"
"Mm .. let me think. One time he caught me when I was listening to his guitar play, once in Esperanto, and once after the Olympiad? And so within three months. We are not friends. He's just a classmate who I likes, although shouldn't. "

"Why not?" Chantal said.
"Because we don't have any hope,"

"There is always hope, and don't even try to argue that,"
"Okay, even if there is hope. What if he can somehow find out and says no? Look, I'll stay with him still for 3.5 years in one class."

"But if you already like him .. don't you want to try? I mean, even if you get over him, it will keep haunting you ..." Michelle offered.

"I very much hope that it passes by. As soon as possible. I do not need it now."
"You can never tell you heart what to do," Chan said.

"I know. That's why I ask it,"
"Oh,"

"Do you think it will help?"
"You never know," I shrugged my shoulders. "It's worth trying."

There is always hope, I repeated Chan words in my mind. I was so naive.

***

This day is finally over. I was heading to the cloakroom with the whole class, to finally escape it for at least one day. Fortunately, the next day was Friday.

I put the boots on currently and talked with Chantal about out Saturday plans when I had the feeling that someone was standing behind me. I stood up (because obviously turning around when you're bent over, is not the best idea), turned myself around and ...

"Um ..." was the only thing I could say, because Jason stood just behind me, having shoes bag in one bag and a jacket in another, and his hands were lifted enough that you could call it hugging me. Or harassment.
"Sorry, I just wanted to pass by,"

"Uh .. yes, of course," I replied, backing away, while my face was all red. As soon as Jason was at a safe distance, I turned to Chan and half-whispered, half-hissed: "What, for the devil, it was?"
Chan looked at me laughing out loud. "Oh, do not say you didn't like,"

"Sure, I do not have anything against my harassment,"
She looked me in the eye knowingly.

"Okay, okay, it was .. just unexpected,"
"It seems that you are not the only who likes someone,"

"What? He just tried to pass by,"
"C'mon .. I've heard enough of these excuses,"

I raised a brow. "So you think that ..?"
"Obviously,"

***

"... Come and help me fly,lend me you wings ... "

Oh, see, someone's writing. I sang my favorite song at the moment as the blinking msn window disturbed me. I was busy enough enjoying the song, not to note who was it.

"Yo,"
Jason ... "Hey,"

"'Do you mind rating one of my pictures?" There was also a link added.
Wow, like what? I opened the link, and was about dying. I love wolves, and you just about drawing one? Again, telepathy? "It is very beautiful,"

"Thank you .. these things actually are successful when you're too bothered to learn Esperanto,"
"Is it this hard"

"Not for you. I think you're the best of us. But I don't like it much,"
"Thanks, although I don't think so. But why did you even choose Esperanto? You could, after all, chose Italian. Or nothing at all, it's not neccessary nor,"

"This 'nothing' would sound acceptably, if I knew for sure what I want to study in high school."
"Oh, right, this,"

We talked about different things. Sometimes later I missed those times. Once we got the suitable subject, we could talk for hours ... Pets, music, movies - whatever really.

"Whoa,it's half two," I wrote when the yawning was getting on my nerves, and I finally wanted to know what time it is.
"Oh snap. I usually go to bed at 11. It's a little .. too much,"

"Mnjaa. Okay then, good night,"
"Yeps. Cya,"

This 'cya' at the end there was almost the only time he said a good-bye to me on MSN (when we didn't date)

***






I've landed here somewhere
I don't know who I am anymore
I've lost the memories
The pictures produce no meaning
Bring me back, back home
I can't make it out here alone


Come and help me fly
Lend me your wings
I exchange them for the world
and for all that keeps me back
I exchange them tonight
for everything that I have


Tell me only lies
Make it so I believe them
otherwise I will climb into the air
and this silence makes me deaf.
With only gray walls and no light,
everything here is without me


I don't find myself here again
I don't recognize myself anymore
Come and pull me out of here
I'd give away everything for that
I am nostalgic
and want to go back
I am distanced farther and farther
with every moment

MOA #5: Aita mul lennata

"Nii et siis laupäeval?"
"Mhm," venitasin ma, kuna olin viimaseks tunniks päris väsinud. Ning see viimane tund on veel füüsika. Oh.

Lisaks oli see tund, kus Jason istus minust ja Chanist kõigest vahekäigu kaugusel. Ning loomulikult oli mul kohutav tahtmine teda jälgida, kuid kui ma oleks lambist pea pööranud, oleks see .. no ma ei tea, imelik olnud?

Pealegi, vaatamise osa tegi Micha minu eest, kui nägi, et ma ei süvene eriti vestlusesse. Tema saadetud järjekordne kahtlustav pilk (nii umbes viies kord?) Jasoni suunas tekitas minust siiski vastupandamatu tahtmise teada saada, mida ta seal täpsemalt teeb.

Et kahtlust mitte äratada, pöörasin pead vaid niipalju, et saaksin Jasoni tegevust silmanurgast jälgida.
Sellised vaatepildid tekitasid minus ka hiljem iga kord samasugust kurbust, mida nägin tema silmist.
Jason istus üksi laua taga, ei tea küll, kus kõik tema sõbrad on .. Okei, nad seisid paar lauda tagapool ja ajasid juttu. Nagu keegi ei märkakski teda...

Kui teie sõber istub üksi, vaadates tühja pilguga enda ette ja selles pilgus - kui piisavalt hästi süveneda - peegeldub kurbus ja üksindus, siis mida te teeksite? Ma küll läheks räägiks temaga ja lohutaks vajadusel.

Poisid, pööritasin mõttes silmi.

Ning siis järsku vaatas ta mulle otsa. Ma peaaegu tundsin, kuidas tema silmad mind neelavad, neelavad tema kurbusesse.
Kui kaua ma jõllitanud olen?

Pöörasin pilgu tagasi Michale.
"Ta istub seal juba mõnda aega nii, kord sind vaadates, siis jälle pilku pöörates. See on väga imelik," lausus Micha tasasel häälel, et keegi teine ei kuuleks (Chantal ei lähe arvesse).

"Ma arvan, et ta proovib endiselt .. tead küll .. asjadest üle saada," tõstis Chan pilgu vihikust.
"Mul on temast nii kahju,"

"Mine räägi temaga," pakkus Micha.
Kergitasin tema suunas kulmu. "Ja mis õigus mul selleks on?"

"No .. ma ei tea, te paistate suht sõbrad olevat,"
"Mm .. las ma mõtlen. Üks kord ta sattus mulle peale, kui ma tema kitarrimängu kuulasin, üks kord esperantos ja üks kord peale mata olümpiaadi? Ja seda kolme kuu jooksul. Me ei ole sõbrad. Ta on lihtsalt klassivend, kes meeldib mulle, kuigi ei tohiks."

"Miks mitte?" küsis Chantal.
"Sest meil pole lootust,"

"Lootust on alati, ja ära proovigi vastupidist väita,"
"Okei, isegi kui lootust on. Mis siis, kui ta saab sellest kuidagimoodi teada ja ütleb mulle ei? Vaata, siis ma jään temaga endiselt 3,5 aastaks ühte klassi."

"Aga kui ta nüüd sulle juba meeldib .. kas siis pole mõtet edasi katsetada? Selles suhtes, et isegi kui sa temast üle saad, jääb see kummitama..." pakkus Michelle.
"Ma väga loodan, et see läheb üle. Võimalikult kiiresti. Ma ei vaja seda praegu."

"Sa ei saa kunagi käskida oma südant," tuletas Chan meelde.
"Ma tean. Sellepärast ma palun teda,"

"Oh,"
"Kas sa arvad, et see aitab?"

"Kunagi ei tea," kehitasin ma õlgu. "Proovida ju võib."
Lootust on alati, kordasin mõttes Chani sõnu. Ma olin siis nii naiivne.

***

Lõpuks sai see päev läbi. Suundusin kogu klassiga garderoobi, et lõpuks ometi pageda siit vähemalt üheks päevaks. Õnneks oli järgmine päev reede.

Panin parajasti saapaid jalga ja rääkisin Chantaliga meie laupäevastest plaanidest, kui tundsin, et keegi seisab mu selja taga. Tõusin püsti (kuna ilmselgelt ümber pöörata, kui sa kummargil oled, ei ole kõige parem idee), pöörasin end ümber ja...

"Um..." oli ainuke, mida ma suutsin öelda, sest Jason seisis otse mu selja taga, tema ühes käes jalatsikott ja teises kerge jope, ning tema käed olid piisavalt üles tõstetud, et seda võiks nimetada minu kallistamiseks. Või ahistamiseks.
"Sorry, ma tahtsin mööda minna,"

"Ee .. jah, muidugi," vastasin ma, taganedes, endal nägu punane. Niipea, kui Jason oli ohutus kauguses, pöörasin end Chani poole ja sosistasin-sisistasin: "Mis, kuradi pärast, see oli praegu?"
Chan vaatas mulle naerdes otsa. "Oo, ära ütle, et sulle ei meeldinud,"

"Eino muidugi pole mul minu ahistamise vastu midagi,"
Ta vaatas mulle teadjapilguga otsa.

"Olgu, olgu, see oli lihtsalt .. ootamatu,"
"Paistab, et sa ei ole ainuke, kellele keegi meeldib,"

"Mäh? Ta lihtsalt proovis mööda minna,"
"C'mon .. ma olen piisavalt selliseid vabandusi kuulnud,"

Kergitasin kulmu. "Nii et sa arvad, et..?"
"Ilmselgelt,"

***

"...Come and help me fly,
lend me your wings..."

Oh, näe, keegi kirjutab. Laulsin parajasti oma lemmiklaulu, kui vilkuv msniaken häirima hakkas. Olin piisavalt hõivatud laulu nautimisega, et kirjutajat tähele panna.

"Yo,"
Jason... "Hei,"

"Viitsid ühte mu pilti hinnata palun?" Lisatud oli link mingisugusest leheküljest.
Wow, mida nagu? Avasin lingi ja pidin sealsamad otsad andma. Ma jumaldan hunte ja sa lihtsalt võtad kätte ja joonistad ühe? Jälle telepaatia? "See on väga ilus,"

"Tänud .. sellised asjad tulevadki kõige paremini välja just siis, kui sa ei viitsi esperantot õppida,"
"See pole ju nii raske?"

"Sulle tõesti mitte. Mu arust oskad sa seda kõige paremini meist kõigist. Aga mulle see eriti ei istu,"
"Tänks, kuigi ma seda päris ei usu. Aga miks sa siis üldse läksid esperantosse? Oleksid võinud ju itaalia keele ka valida. Või siis üldse mitte midagi, see pole ju praegu kohustuslik,"

"See 'üldse mitte midagi' kõlaks meelepäraselt, kui ma teaksin kindlalt, mida gümnaasiumis õppima lähen."
"Ah, õigus, see ka veel,"

Me rääkisime veel erinevatest asjadest. Vahel hiljem ma igatsesin neid aegu. Kui me kord ühe teema juba kätte saime, võisime rääkida tunde... Lemmikloomad, muusika, filmid - reaalselt mis iganes.

"Whoa, kell on juba pool 2," kirjutasin ma, kui haigutamine mulle närvidele hakkas käima ja mind lõpuks hakkas huvitama, mis kell on.
"Ohsa raks. Ma lähen tavaliselt kell 11 magama. Seda on veits .. palju,"

"Mnjaa. Aga dvj siis, head ööd,"
"Yeps. Cya,"

See 'cya' seal lõpus oli ka peaaegu ainuke kord, kui ta mulle msnis (kui me veel ei käinud) head aega ütles.

***



I've landed here somewhere
I don't know who I am anymore
I've lost the memories
The pictures produce no meaning
Bring me back, back home
I can't make it out here alone


Come and help me fly
Lend me your wings
I exchange them for the world
and for all that keeps me back
I exchange them tonight
for everything that I have


Tell me only lies
Make it so I believe them
otherwise I will climb into the air
and this silence makes me deaf.
With only gray walls and no light,
everything here is without me


I don't find myself here again
I don't recognize myself anymore
Come and pull me out of here
I'd give away everything for that
I am nostalgic
and want to go back
I am distanced farther and farther
with every moment

08.01.12

MNLS #4: Sometimes I can be this lucky

"Ready for math?"
"Like I would ever learn for the Olympics,"

"Perhaps it would be more useful?"
"Last year I didn't learn  for chemistry. I got to next round. Conclusion: there is no need to learn for the Olympics,"

"Some are still soooo unchangeable," Michelle joined the conversation.
"And you?" Chan said, knowing the answer already.

"Of course not,"
"Then, not only some,"

"Oh, of course we won't talk that some are unchangeable about boys as well," She looked at me with her knowing gaze.
I started to answer her already, but the door to class, where our math had to be held, opened and teacher started to let people in.

"You two. From 9th grade? Okay, you go in, too," The teacher let Chantal and Michelle in as well, leaving all the rest of us outside.

I leaned against the wall, observing Cyle and Corey, who for some strange reason, had also come to the Olympics. Not that I would want to offend anyone, but c'mon, these people who are popular, they have a 'strange habit' to get bad grades. Okay, let's be honest, they just didn't need to study, because their parents are rich people and can afford them everything.

You don't have to go to the lessons. Of course. That answer was so simple. This is a hobby for some people - as soon as the the season of Olympiads begin in the autumn, they participate only because they don't have to go to the lessons.
I turned eyes away because their 'fight' started getting on my nerves.

It is possible that it would have been wiser to look at those stupid things. Or at least, look somewhere else. To catch Jason's eyes (back then I didn't do it very often .. those good old times), and drown in there when he wasn't mine, wasn't just the best alternative.

This lasted a few seconds, but it seemed as if hours passed before he turned his head away. I blinked my eyes and turned away again, so I couldn't feel no longer the vibes, which occurred in my body, when we looked into each others' eyes.

Later, of course, there were millions of exchanges of looks and they still made me shake.
"9th grade, you can go inside," the teacher's voice sounded through the mist, even I was standing only a meter from her.

However, I moved to the class, smiled at Micha and Chantal, who sat in the first and second table, and went to the fifth (the third was occupied and then I decided to sit farer). I took out compasses, ruler, protractor, pen and wait until I get my work.

I supported my head on my hand and kinda daydreamed until someone landed before my table.
Are you kidding me again?

I looked over his shoulder at Micha and Chan, who just grinned obscure.
So funny. You couldn't sit somewhere else?

I raised my brow towards Jason's back, as if he really could see it. Michelle and Chantal, however, had so pleased faces, as if their peculiar plan succeeded. Not to mention, as though it were some kind of a suitable chance for I-don't-know-what.

***

About 1.5 hours passed, when I finally raised my head from paper. Not that everything was ready. But two of the five tasks were done perfectly, and I let my eyes rest.
Okay, it was not quite what I meant.

Let your eyes rest on the Jason's back, I mean. I had actually planned to just look around, but as my eyes stopped on Jason, I couldn't look away.
My look slid over his brown hair, shoulders, and then upside of his back. Immediately, the thoughts of his trained body appeared in my mind.

So, that no one would misunderstand this. I HAVEN'T SEEN naked Jason. But he almost always wore a white T-shirt, which was against his trained body so well that all the muscles were seen. That's why I was hyper-happy as we were had PE together. Although it didn't happen often, but still.

After a few moments I finally started thinking normally, so I understood where I actually was.
Focus, Caro, you are at the Olympiads, not .. maybe .. hot guys exhibition.

***

Within an hour later I gave the work with done 3 1/4 exercises.
For me, a good thing. 

It was this stupid day when our school's management decided that we have to go to classes after the Olympics.
However, Esperanto and two PE-s didn't seem to be that bad.

Esperanto .. right, we need to choose new seats.
On Wednesdays, we had Esperanto in such a wonderful class where the tables were round, so that we can look at each other. Which in itself was very nice.

Moreover, it's this class, where I sat last year .. yeah, next to Jason.
I smiled as I recalled how much I complained to Chan that I have to sit next to a boy (Chan sat on the other side of me).

Haha, how ironic.
As I had finished 15 minutes before the end of the lesson, I had to wait until it ends, to get to class.

"How was it?" Jason asked as he flopped down next to me about 5 minutes later.
Is he stalking me? "Eem .. I believe that even good. 3 1/4 tasks were done. I don't know if correctly of course ..."

"3 1/4? Pretty good,"
"And you?"

"Heh, dunno. The third was 0.5 hours?"
"It was the one I didn't get. The second?"

"7892007?"
I nodded my head.

"Success,"
"4 was 250?"

"Um .. I got 236.2,"
"Okaaayy,"

"What have you got five?"
"That is not possible?"

"Yepp"
"Same here. Oh, it's not so bad after all,"

"For you not. I didn't do the first, 3 is a question mark and 4 wrong,"
"Maybe I was wrong? 236.2 may also be true, after all,"

"I don't think so. It seems too weirdo. I guess I'm going to cry, as I did it this bad,"
"Oh, come on. Everybody has their ups and downs,"

"Yeah,"
* Silence, silence, silence. * I gave up. At least we were talking for .. about 10 minutes.

***

"So you sit there again," Chantal said contentedly, when we changed our clothes for PE.
"Yeah, sometimes I can be this lucky,"

"You'll be more lucky today," Cassie joined.
"You're clairvoyant now?" I laughed.

"Because we have a PE with the boys today," said Michelle.
"Wow, how fun," I replied cheerfully.

PE with the boys wasn't fun only because of Jason. PE with boys .. we had always fun there.

"Although, do not know what I can do there, especially when people are around,"
"Um .. watch his hot body for example," Cassie suggested.

"Irw, do not even think about hitting on my boyfriend," I said, ironically.
"Your boyfriend ..." Chan dragged reproachfully.

"Chan, it was ironic, after all,"
"I just look that you won't get your expectations too high,"

"Don't worry,"
"Ok,"

As it wasn't raining, so we went outside.
Excellent.

Three laps around the stadium, of course, wasn't so great but we did it.

"Today we're going to do long jump, and then play baseball," said Ms. Staim, girls' PE teacher.
It sounds great.

At first, the girls did their long jump, then the guys and at the end when everyone had done their extremities, we just fooled around, jumping all together.

I told ya, PE with guys = fun.
Baseball was fun as well, considering the fact that it was the ball game, I was the best at (compared to other ball games).

Especially fun was the part that the girls were permitted to form teams.
Samantha was our captain and chose Cyle first.

Obviously.
"So who are good there?" she asked monitoring the boys.

"Jason, Aiden, Dylan, Ethan ..."
Please take Jason, please take Jason. My typical activity.

"I see .. Well, okay, let's take for example .. no, Jason, come here,"
I obviously have telepathic abilities.

Chantal was also in the same team with me, so it was meant to be a great game. And as soon as Jason had to hit the ball, I did the same I noticed him doing.
Although he didn't have any secret motive behind that, but just looked at me like other team members.

And there I was, peeking at him, as I always did then. I realized only later that this was a mistake, which I did too often.

MOA #4: Vahel ikka veab kah

"Mataks valmis?"
"Nagu ma kunagi õpiks olümpiaadiks,"

"Ehk oleks sellest rohkem kasu?"
"Eelmine aasta ma ka ei õppinud keemiaks. Sain piirkonnavooru. Järeldus: pole mõtet olümpiaadiks õppida,"

"Mõni on ikka niiiii muutumatu," lisandus vestlusesse ka Michelle.
"Ja sa ise?" küsis Chan, teades vastust vägagi hästi.

"Muidugi mitte,"
"Siis mitte ainult mõni,"

"Oh, ärme muidugi räägi sellest, et mõni on ka poiste suhtes muutumatu," Ta vaatas mulle teadjapilguga otsa.
Hakkasin talle juba vastama, kuid uks klassi, kus meie mate toimuma pidi, avati ja õpetaja hakkas klasside kaupa inimesi sisse laskma.

"Teie kaks. 9kud? Okei, teie lähete ka sisse," Õpetaja lasi sisse Chantali ja Michelle'i, jättes meie kõik ülejäänud välja.
Toetasin end seinale, jälgides Cole'i ja Corey't, kes mingil imelikul põhjusel olid samuti olümpiaadi tulnud tegema. Mitte et ma tahaks kedagi solvata või midagi, aga c'mon, need inimesed, kes on populaarsed, neil on 'kahtlane komme' halvasti õppida. Okei, oleme ausad, nad lihtsalt ei vaja õppimist, kuna nende vanemad on mingid rikkurid ja saavad oma võsukestele kõike lubada.

Tundidest saab ära. Muidugi. Nii lihtne see vastus oligi. See ongi mõnede inimeste hobi - niipea kui sügisel algab olümpiaadide hooaeg, siis nad osalevad seal vaid selle tõttu, et saab tundidest ära.
Pöörasin pilgu ära, sest nende klobimine hakkas juba närvidele käima.

Võimalik, et vaadata nende lollusi olnuks mõistlikum. Või vähemalt vaadata kuskile mujale. Sattuda Jasoni pilgu otsa (tookord ma ei teinud seda meelega eriti tihti .. need vanad head ajad) ja uppuda tema silmadesse, kui ta polnud minu oma, ei olnud just kõige parim alternatiiv.

Paar sekundit kestis see, kuid tundus, justkui oleks möödunud tunnid, enne kui ta oma pea ära pööras. Pilgutasin silmi ja pöörasin oma pilgu taas eemale, et mitte enam tunda neid värinaid, mis mu kehas tekkisid, kui meil see pilguvahetus oli.

Hiljem oli neid pilguvahetusi muidugi miljoneid ja need tekitasid minus neidsamu värinaid.
"9kud, võite sisse minna," Õpetaja hääl kõlas läbi udu, mis sest, et ma seisin temast kõigest 1 meetri kaugusel.

Siiski, liikusin klassi, naeratasin Michale ja Chantalile, kes esimeses ja teises pingis istusid ning liikusin hoopis viiendasse (kuna kolmas oli kinni ja siis ma otsustasin kaugemale istuda). Ladusin lauale sirkli, joonlaua, malli, pliiatsi ja jäin ootama, kuni mulle töö kätte antakse.

Toetasin pea käele ja unelesin niisama, kuni keegi minu ette maandus.
Kas te reaalselt teete nalja?

Vaatasin üle tema õla Chani ja Micha poole, kes lihtsalt varjamata irvitasid.
On jah naljakas. Mujale sa istuda ei tahtnud?

Kergitasin kulmu Jasoni selja suunas, justkui ta tõepoolest oleks võinud seda näha. Michelle ja Chantal aga olid nii rahulolevate nägudega, justkui oleks nende erisugune plaan õnnestunud. Rääkimata sellest, justkui oleks see mingi erikummaline sobiv juhus ma-ei-tea-mille-jaoks.

***

Möödunud oli umbes 1,5 tundi, kui ma viimaks olümpiaadilt pea tõstsin. Mitte et mul kõik valmis oleks. Aga kaks ülesannet viiest olid mul täiesti tehtud ja ma lasin silmadel puhata.
Okei, see polnud päris see, mida ma mõtlesin.

Lasta oma silmadel Jasoni seljal puhata, ma mõtlen. Mul oli tegelikult plaanis veidi ringi vaadata, aga kui ma juba ükskord Jasonit vaatama hakkasin, siis see jäi.
Mu pilk libises üle tema pruunide juuste, sealt õlgadele ja ülaseljale. Mu pähe tulid otsekohe mõtted tema treenitud kehast.

Nii, et kellelgi valearusaama ei tekiks. Ma EI OLE Jasonit alasti näinud. Aga ta kandis kehalises peaaegu alati valget T-särki, mis oli tema treenitud keha vastas täpselt nii, et kõik lihased näha olid. Sellepärast olin ma hüperõnnelik, kui meil kehaline koos oli. Seda ei juhtunud küll tihti, kuid siiski.

Paari hetke pärast tuli mulle meelde, kus ma täpselt olin.
Keskendu, Caro, sa oled olümpiaadil, mitte .. ma ei tea .. kuumade kuttide näitusel.

***

Tunni aja pärast andsin alla ja esitasin oma töö 3 1/4 tehtud ülesandega.
Minu jaoks isegi hea.

See oli veel see loll päev, kui meie kooli juhtkond otsustas, et me peame peale olümpiaadi tundidesse veel ka minema.
Samas, esperanto ja kaks kehalist ei tundunud just eriti hullud olevat.

Esperanto .. aa, õigus, meil tuleb täna uued kohad valida ju.
Kolmapäeviti oli meil esperanto sellises toredas klassis, kus lauad olid ringis, et me üksteist vaadata saaksime. Mis iseenesest oli väga tore.

Ja veel on see see klass, kus ma eelmine aasta istusin .. jeah, Jasoni kõrval.
Mul tuli kohe naeratus näole, kui tuletasin meelde, kuidas kaebasin Chantalile, et pean poisi kõrval istuma (Chan istus minust teisel pool).

Haha, kui irooniline.
Kuna olin lõpetanud 15 minutit enne tunni lõppu, tuli mul oodata, kuni teistel tunnid lõpevad, et saaksin klassi minna.

"Kuidas läks siis?" küsis Jason, kui oli mu kõrvale potsatanud ligi 5 minutit hiljem.
Kas ta jälitab mind? "Eem .. ma usun, et isegi suht hästi. 3 1/4 ülesannetest said tehtud. Ma ei tea, kui õigesti muidugi..."

"3 1/4? Päris hea,"
"Ja sul?"

"Heh, ei tea. Kolmas oli 0,5 tundi?"
"See oli just see, mida ma ei saanudki kätte. Teine?"

"7892007?"
Noogutasin pead.

"Edukas,"
"4. oli 250?"

"Ee .. ma sain 236,2,"
"Okeeiii,"

"Mis sa viienda said?"
"Et ei ole võimalik?"

"Jepp,"
"Sama. Oo, siis polegi nii hull ju,"

"Sinu jaoks mitte. Mul mingi 1. tegemata, 3. kahtluse all ja 4. vale,"
"Äkki on minul hoopis vale? 236,2 võib ka õige olla ju,"

"Ei usu. Tundub liiga värdjalik. Eks ma lähen siis nutan, et mul nii halvasti läks,"
"Oh, ole nüüd. Kõigil on oma tõusud ja mõõnad,"

"Nojah,"
* Vaikus, vaikus, vaikus. * Andsin alla. Vähemalt me rääkisime .. 10 minutit.

***


"Nii et sa istud jälle seal," lausus Chantal rahulolevalt, kui me kehkaks riideid vahetasime.
"Yeah, vahel ikka veab ka,"

"Sul veab täna veel rohkem," liitus Cassie.
"Hakkasid selgeltnägijaks?" naersin ma.

"Sest meil on kehaline koos poistega täna," vastas Michelle.
"Ohhoo, kui lõbus," kostsin rõõmsalt.

Kehaline poistega ei olnud ometigi lõbus vaid selle tõttu, et Jason oli seal. Poistega kehaline .. meil sai alati nalja seal.

"Kuigi, ei tea, mis ma seal eriti teha saan, kui inimesed ümber on,"
"No .. jälgid tema kuuma keha näiteks," pakkus Cassie.

"Irw, ära mitte mõtlegi mu poisile külge lüüa," sõnasin irooniaga.
"Sinu poisile..." venitas Chan etteheitvalt.

"Chan, see oli iroonia ju,"
"Ma lihtsalt vaatan, et sa oma ootuste latti liiga kõrgeks ei seaks,"

"Ära muretse,"
"Ok,"

Vihma ei sadanud, nii et kehaline õues.
Suurepärane.

Kolm ringi ümber staadioni ei olnud muidugi nii tore, kui kannatasime välja küll.
"Täna hüppame kaugust ja hiljem mängime pesapalli," sõnas pr. Staim, tüdrukute kehkaõpetaja.

See kõlab suurepäraselt.
Alguses hüppasid kaugust tüdrukud, siis poisid ja lõpus, kui kõik olid oma kaugeimad hüpped ära teinud, lollitasime niisama, hüpates kõik koos.

Ma ju ütlesin, kehka koos = lõbu.
Pesapall osutus samuti toredaks, arvestades tõsiasja, et see oli pallimäng, mida ma kõige paremini oskasin (pallimängudest).

Eriti lõbus oli see osa, et tüdrukutele anti luba võistkonnad moodustada.
Samantha oli meie kapten ning võttis Cyle'i esimesena.

Ilmselgelt.
"Nii, kes teil seal veel hea on?" küsis ta, seirates poisse oma pilguga.

"Jason, Aiden, Dylan, Ethan..."
Palun võta Jason, palun võta Jason. Minu tüüpiline tegevus.

"Ahah .. no okei, võtame näiteks .. no dvj, Jason, vea end siia,"
Mul ilmselgelt on telepaatilised võimed.

Ka Chantal oli minuga samas võistkonnas, nii et tõotas olla suurepärane mäng. Ning niipea kui Jasoni kord oli lüüa, tegin sama, mida märkasin teda tegemas.
Kuigi kindlapeale ei olnud tema tegevuses mingit tagamõtet, vaid ta lihtsalt vaatas mind löömas, nagu osa võistkonnakaaslasi.

Ning seal ma olin, saates talle vargsi pilke, nagu mul tol ajal kombeks oli. Alles hiljem sain ma aru, et just see oli see viga, mida ma liiga tihti tegin.

05.01.12

OMC #24: Сон

Jake closed the door, as I explored his room. I turned around to ask one thing, but I shut up, just as Jake was standing too close to me. 

"What are you ...?"
 "You can't even imagine, how crazy I am about you," he whispered in my ear. 

"Wh-what?
""I like you, Caro, and I want you to be my girlfriend," 

"But I have Jason," I argued, even though it was, after all, an all-known fact.
* I mean I wasn't sure what I wanted then. I knew perfectly that I love Jason, but Jake? I liked him, though .. but only as a friend. Now. Plus we had a similar thought .* 

"That doesn't mean anything. We can meet secretly." 
"What? You want to say that I should cheat on Jason?" I won't allow it at all. 

"Why not?" he wondered.
 I pulled him away. "I am not like this," 

He thought about my words for a second. "No, but ..." 
"I love Jason. Jake .. I like you, but as a friend." 

"And nothing more?"
 "Unfortunately, no." I didn't want to continue talking about this topic, even though I knew that I should make it sure. 

I left him there, irresolute. Or rather .. I tried. 
Jake moved to the door too fast, not allowing me to go away. 

"Don't," I breathed heavily because his closeness. In fact, I would rather liked to hiss.
 "Why not?" he asked, coming moving his face closer to mine. Like you are not close enough. He left only one arm, but with the other lifted my chin, that I had to look at him. In the meantime, I turned my eyes down. 

I can do it. "Because I don't want to?" Damn, it sounded a question. Cr .. 
 He took his hands away and took a step back.  "Then I won't." 

WTF? "You just let me go?" I had mu mouth open.
 "Yes," he arranged his long hair. "You don't want me to do, then I won't." He smiled. 

"I didn't think you're like this," I admitted.
 "Like what?" 

"You're in Cyle's gang and .. they wouldn't let it this way,"
 "I socialize  with them. But with others as well. Besides, being in his gang doesn't mean I have to be like one of them. Or what do you think?"
  
I shrugged shoulders perplexedly. I really do not know. 
"I've told you," the boy shook his head.

 "I was surprised because I just kinda rejected you and you just .. are?" I could not complete the sentence in a different way.
 "I can wait." he said, whereupon I winced slightly, "You are now Jason's girl and I have no right to do anything with you. Men code of honor, right?"

 I nodded doubtfully. "I'll go then?" I showed to the door.
 "Here you go," He kept the door open to me as a true jentleman.

 "Thanks," I quickly moved out of the door.
The party was on it's peak. It was interesting that even the most of Cyle's group was here. Usually, they didn't attend our parties, but assumed it was because one of the members of the group organized a party at his place.

 And they can't even imagine what is actually like.
 "Where were you? I began to worry about already." Jason's strong hands gently tangled around my waist. 

Finally he's here. "I was in the kitchen,"
 Jason sent a glance towards the kitchen, where were Analeigh and Michelle.

 I prayed that I could get there as soon as possible to ask for some cover.
 "Let's sit?" The boy pointed to the free sofa. Well, not quite free, as Hannah was sitting there. 

"I'll go get my drink." I found the excuse to go to the kitchen, "Can I get you anything?"
 "Is there some Nestea?"

 I rolled my eyes slightly. "Damn, you're still boring,"
 "I do not drink today,"

 "Ok," I almost run to the kitchen. 
"Girls?"Analeigh and Michelle looked at me with anticipation.

 "If Jason asks, then I was three-quarters of the last hours in the kitchen,"
 "But you were the ..." Analeigh started, but Micha interrupted her: "Except for the last 15-20 minutes. Where were you?" Her eyes flashed in curiosity and suspicion. 

No. "I've had something to do,"
 "And what is this 'something' that Jason shouldn't know about?"

 "Michelle!" Analeigh exclaimed, "What's wrong with you? She has her personal life." 
"Personal life ... where she was when Jason was not even here? She had to help us in the kitchen. But instead she's just hanging somewhere and we have to lie for her, too," 

"Who needs to lie for whom?" 
I turned around and ...

 "We talked about how girl friends lie to some guy who one of their girlfriends like, so they would start dating," Analeigh tried to save the situation.
 "What?" Jason had a complete WTF-look

"We just wanted to know where Caroline was all this time,"
 "Michelle!" Analeigh hissed quietly at a girl who looked like she enjoyed the whole thing.

 "Wasn't she in the kitchen?" Jason asked steadfastly.
 Phew. I was lucky.

 "Of course she was, Michelle just ..."
 "I never do anything 'just'!" 

I thanked God in my mind that Micha doesn't know anything about Jake. Otherwise, it would be...
 "You didn't tell him, Caro?"

I turned around. "Jake?"
"Tell me what?" Jason joined story, sliding his arm around my waist, showing that I am his. 

In theory. I bit my lip hard, trying to figure out something.
"About what we talked?" Jake glared at Jason's hand as it shouldn't be there.

Didn't I tell him..? 
"What is he talking, Caro?"

 "Caro, honey, who will tell him? Me or you"
 "Jake, I told you, I'm with Jason, we're just friends," 

Jake laughed. "Friends who are holding hands and kissing each other while walking in the forest?"
"What are you talking about, Jake?"

"Don't pretend ignorance, sweetie," 
"Is it true what he says?" Jason took his hand away.

 Oh shit, I really have to do this before all of them? All actually meant only Michelle and Analeigh, but it was quite enough. "No .. well, yes, in some sense," 
"Is it no or yes?"

"We went a few times to the woods - that's all,"
"And of course you don't mention that we date secretly,"***"Angel! Lord, thanks," I sat up briskly, making sure that I'm still safe in my bed, not clarifying relationships with anyone anywhere. 
I obviously think over. Jake and me? C'mon, even if we' have common thinking, he wouldn't date me or anything, because .. he must keep his position.

 Whoa, whoa, what am I thinking about? Why does it sound like I am disappointed that Jake doesn't want me to? OMG, really. This still doesn't change the fact it was too real. Too .. Yes.

I peeked at clock, which showed only eight in the morning. Saturday morning. 
Yay.

I fell back, but couldn't sleep anymore. I moved my blanket, opened the window, so the room would be a little cooler and went to wash myself up. After washing-up, I made the bed, closed the window and decided to make breakfast for everyone.

 Pancakes with maple syrup seemed to be a good option and, besides, I hadn't cooked for awhile.

"Слёзы не к чему...
Не моя вина,
Что осталась я сегодня одна.
Пусто на душе...
Телефон молчит, повторяю я:он еще позвонит!
Извинишься - прощу... нежно обниму,останься прошу,
Ты мне скажешь люблю.
Почему одна?-задаю вопрос.
Почему ушёл?.. обидно до слёз!!!

Знаю только во сне с тобою будем вдвоём,
если хочешь,иногда я засыпать буду днем.
Знаю только во сне с тобою счастлива я,одену лучшее платье,одену лишь для тебя!!
Знаю только во сне с тобою будем вдвоём,
если хочешь,иногда я засыпать буду днем.
Знаю только во сне с тобою счастлива я,
верю сбудется сон и ты полюбишь меня!

Ветром стану я,
Буду рядом с ним ,
не заметит он,
как станет другим... 
Распахну окно, небо попрошу: ты скажи ему,что я его жду!!
пусть придет ко мне, 
и исчезнет грусть.
Улетим вдвоём... под утро вернусь!
Почему опять - это просто сон?
Почему всегда мои мысли о нём?

Знаю только во сне с тобою будем вдвоём,
если хочешь,иногда я засыпать буду днем.
Знаю только во сне с тобою счастлива я,одену лучшее платье,одену лишь для тебя!!
Знаю только во сне с тобою будем вдвоём,
если хочешь,иногда я засыпать буду днем.
Знаю только во сне с тобою счастлива я,
верю сбудется сон и ты полюбишь меня!"
 
 
 "Oh God, Caro, can you not to sing?" my little brother, Dennis, muttered."If you're still going to argue with me, you won't get any pancakes!" 
"You're not Mom!""But I made pancakes," 
He didn't have anything to say against it, and he remained silent.Fortunately. "So, tea?" I decided to spend some time being a good sister. 
"May I go to the living room?"I shrugged my shoulders. "What's that?" 
"Dora the Explorer,"Facepalm. "Oh, okay," 
I gave him his favorite - caramel tea with three spoons of sugar.Oh holy cake, he is about getting diabetes.
 

 But I could do anything - he loved sugar."See that you won't upset anything," I shouted to him, but he just muttered something in response. Yeah, and you are about being good. 
I sat down to enjoy pancakes and grapefruit smootie. Yes, if I really wanted something, then I did it."Some are really early birds," said the father, as he reached the kitchen. 
"I couldn't sleep anymore,""And you made us breakfast!" 
I shrugged my shoulders."Daphne, you just look, she made us breakfast," 
Mom clapped her hands together theatrically. I rolled my eyes to it, and I continued eating."Today you had a party," began mother. 
"Yes, at Jake's,""Ah, it was this pretty boy with long hair," 
I snorted. "Yes, it was,""I'm not going to bring you home again!" father started to protest. 
"I have a boyfriend, by the way, with the car," He must have forgotten it again."Ah right, yes. Phew, it's good." 
I rolled my eyes again and took dishes in the sink."What time are you gonna go?" asked the mother. 
"About 7-8 we should be there, we're going with Jason,""Okay," I heard as I was already running up the stairs, trying my best not to think about this stupid dreams.

I've never even thought of Jake as ... Who I am lying to?* When I tried to forget Jason, my 'stock option' was Jake. Mainly because I noticed him when he came in our class with others. He was beautiful and .. popular. Although the latter rather bothered me. But he was different from Jason. And then I started dating Jason and socializing with Jake. It was so funny because it just happened. I didn't even have to do anything special for it. Communication with boys was difficult for me, because I never knew what to say. But, it seems that I changed. And
I liked these changes.*