Открой моё сердце #2: Одиночество любви

Everything is as it was before. Everything between us is as before. No, rather that there's nothing between us.

"Caroline!" Teacher's harsh voice brought me back to reality.
I looked at her innocently. "Yes?"

"Answer, please,"
I hesitated. What were the topic of the lesson? Uh .. Antique?

Chantal who was my desk-mate in Literature turned her head and whispered silently, "Anaximandros,"

"Anaximandros' principle was that the Earth stands still, because it's in an equal distance from all things that surround the world - all the other planets revolve around it. The earth is spherical, and he also compiled the first map of the Earth. His student Anazimenes..."

"Enough, thank you, Caroline," Teacher's voice was a shade lighter as I told the necessary information.

I breathed in a sigh of relief. "Thank you," whispered silently Chantalile, who smiled in response.

So, what could I do? I've done enough already ... Oh, why it still remains this way?!

The bell rang, and everyone began packing their stuff hurriedly. I got up slowly and put a pencil case and literature notebook in my school bag.

"Where are you heading today?" asked Cassie who was waiting for us in the wardrobe.
"Home?" I suggested.

"Mojito drink?" Michelle offered.
Typical.

"Home," answered Alasia and Chantal.
"Today is Thursday after all. But we should do something interesting tomorrow." I said, looking at girls.

"With him," said Alasia silently.

I let out a sigh. "Maybe we won't talk about it?" I knew that Jason was somewhere behind me, but I really didn't want to discuss this topic. Perhaps it would be better to leave it all?

"Caro, did you really sober down?" Micha started (Michelle) her typical story.
I shouldn't even have thought about this.

"No," I answered firmly, "and I'm going home now." I put the coat on and they left them to the dressing room.

They are glaring at me. There was no need to even turn around to verify this. I'm talking about him far too much.
*I cursed myself a lot because of mentioning a certain person. But as soon as I joined the chat, there were always some case or example which contained him. Awkward.*

"Caroline!"
I turned around.

"Wait for me!" Chantal called.
I waited for her, and together we started moving towards the terminal.

"They talked again about how much I mentioned Jason, didn't they?"
"Um ..."

"Chan, answer honestly,"
She didn't began to swirl. That was one of the things I liked about her the most - she never lied to me in this case. "They were more talking about how to make you two dating. You know that Cassie's ..."

"Yes, her aunt is Jason's girlfriend's mother. So what? I don't think embroiling mothers will be a good idea." This is ridiculous. Seriously.
"I just suggested ..."

"I know that you want to help. Sorry."
"Forget it,"

"Did they tell anything else?" I continued exploring.
"Well. Micha began telling  how much she's tired of this, you know."

Nodded. "This is Micha,"
"Alasia and Cassie regard normally to it. They don't like Michelle's behavior, neither, we can't change her."

"Yeah, right. But anyways, I should apologize. I don't even ask about yours life, just keep all the time "Jason, Jason, Jason. "No, even more like Cassie said: "All the day along it is just  "Jason, Jason Jason, J-A-S-O-N" and from the beginning. '"

"Hahaa, c'mon, you like him a lot, it's natural," laughed Chantal.
"Chan ..."

"Oh yeah. I know."
"Although it is illogical?"

"Yes. As far as I have .. uh .. considered yours conversations and relationship between them, I think that you can love him. Even if it is unilateral and stuff, though. Or at least we think it is unilateral  .. You never know what's on Jason's mind after all. "

"Megaspecial,"
"Yes, kind of. Anyway, you need to talk again or something."

"I'm not going to write to him again!"
"Yeah, but .. you have to do sth. Besides, do not forget about Zack."

"He is kinda impossible to forget"
"There's definitely something wrong with him,"

"Yes. It is. He has a need to talk to other people's secrets."
Chan nodded. "Incompetent,"

"And Jason also says that 'til he doesn't lie, everything is fine. How could he be so calm?!"
"Caro ..."

"Don't, please,"
"He is 3 m away from you,"

"So what? He already knows everything."
"Almost everything"

"But you said that we have to talk again,"
"But not if there's Zack next to him, right?"

I stayed silent. "You're right,"
"I turn away from here now," said Chan, referring to minibus stop.

"Bye," I said, and continued my journey.

***

"Hey,"
I turned my head and saw Jason sitting right next to me.
 "Hey?" At the end, I changed my tone of voice, that it wouldn't sound as a question. "Don't you go with another bus?"
He half-smiled. "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous?"
"That only you can take your bus?"

WTF was it now? I raised brow. "It wasn't funny,"
"I'm not in joking mood today,"

"Then you shouldn't have even start .. You didn't answer,"
"I'm working out today," His voice became more pleasant and more common. "And, btw, you have taken my bus a lot."

"There are lots of people from our class who rides on your bus  .. and the answer is the sea,"
"What you have with the sea?"

I turned my gaze at the same time as the bus passed by my favorite places - along the sea. "It makes you free. Frightens off sadness and loneliness."
"You're sad .. and lonely?"

Turned my eyes to look at him. "Am I not?"
"Caro, please don't start again,"

I rolled my eyes. "I know," I mumble.
"After all, I promised you,"

"No,"
"What no?"

"You didn't promise me anything. You said 'maybe'. This doesn't mean anything."
"You don't believe me?"

"I'm tired." Because of his questioning gaze, I continued, "From all of this. Tell me, wouldn't you be tired if you liked someone so madly, but they didn't like you? And then you'd have to see them every day and sometimes even talk to them .. and my stop."

"Caro, wait!" He tried to stop me.
"Forget about what I said right now. You have more important things to do."

Emanated the bus I headed toward the house.
No. I can't go home. I touched gently my cheeks - they were wet because of the tears. Now I'm crying?

I turned around and started moving back to the city.
No, not to the city. There. Towards the sea.

Знаки вопросы
Где и с кем мы проснемся утром?
Крик одиночества любви
Летит над миром...

Маленькие мальчики загибают пальчики
Маленькие девочки верят им ага (ага)
Надевают платьица и в машинках катятся
От кого-то прятаться с кем-то до утра

(А после,)
После нажмём на пульте кнопку
И в рай легко и ловко
Ковровая дорожка кривые зеркала
Ну а кого мы любим
С тем никогда не будем
Зачем же мы забыли что мы люди?

Отпусти свой крик
К полюсам Земли лети

От Москвы до Нью-Йорка
Сквозь открытые окна
Без адреса летит над миром смотри
Этот крик одиночества любви

От Москвы до Нью-Йорка
Сквозь открытые окна
Без адреса летит над миром смотри
Этот крик одиночества любви

Мальчики и девочки забивают стрелочки
Обещает радио пятница ура
Беленькие ленточки проникают в клеточки
Каждый раз уверены что любовь пришла

(А после,)
После нажмём на пульте кнопку
И в рай легко и ловко
Ковровая дорожка кривые зеркала
Ну а кого мы любим
С тем никогда не будем
Зачем же мы забыли что мы люди

Отпусти свой крик
К полюсам Земли лети

От Москвы до Нью-Йорка
Сквозь открытые окна
Без адреса летит над миром смотри
Этот крик одиночества любви

От Москвы до Нью-Йорка
Сквозь открытые окна
Без адреса летит над миром смотри
Этот крик одиночества любви