27.10.11

Открой моё сердце #3: Кому, Зачем?

Кому ...

Глупая, ну хочешь - плачь
Я буду за руку тебя держать
Больно, я то знаю где
На самом дне души, что не достать

Те, кому мы не нужны
Каждую ночь без стука в наши сны

Так скажи мне, правда чья
Нам - это боль, а им Господь - судья

Они нам дуло к виску
Они нам вдребезги сердца
А мы за ними во тьму
А мы за ними в небеса

Они нам реки измен
Они нам океаны лжи
А мы им веру взамен
А мы им посвящаем жизнь

Кому, зачем?
А мы им посвящаем жизнь
Кому, зачем?


Ждать звонка и не дышать
Что же ты делаешь? - Ему не жаль
Глупая, ну хочешь - плачь
Я буду за руку тебя держать

Что же это по щеке
Учишь меня, да только сердце с кем
Так скажи мне, правда чья
В клочья душа, но им Господь - судья

Они нам дуло к виску
Они нам вдребезги сердца
А мы за ними во тьму
А мы за ними в небеса

Они нам реки измен
Они нам океаны лжи
А мы им веру взамен
А мы им посвящаем жизнь

Кому, зачем?
А мы им посвящаем жизнь
Кому, зачем?

Они нам дуло к виску
Они нам вдребезги сердца
А мы за ними во тьму
А мы за ними в небеса

Они нам реки измен
Они нам океаны лжи
А мы им веру взамен
А мы им посвящаем жизнь

Кому, зачем?
А мы им посвящаем жизнь
Кому, зачем?

А мы им посвящаем жизнь
А мы им посвящаем жизнь
Зачем?

 
 
"And he?"
"Ah, you know - ran up to me," I got a little angry. Chantal really hope that there was hope
for 'us', that I and Jason may succeed. I really want to hope so, but...

"Hey, I'm just trying to help!" Chan got offended.

"I really don't think that analyzing helps. He may has similar character as you, but he is still
Jason. Jason, who is so unpredictable."
"I don't think he is unpredictable," she murmured thoughtfully. Okay, didn't murmur as we
talked on MSN, but I knew that she would have done so.

"Really? Then tell me whether there's a point or not? "
"Caro ..."

"See! You can't."
"I was talking about other things,"

"No," I turned my head as she could see my face. "There is no other things. Everything is
all the same."
 "But it's not..."

"No, Chan, enough. I shouldn't started .. to talk about it again ... I'm going to study now.
Bye." I closed the MSN window, not waiting for a response.

Obviously I didn't go to study. Instead, I opened curtains and a window, then went to the
balcony. Fresh air filled my lungs.
Refreshing.

I sat in a wicker chair and started thinking again.
So... What do we have? I kind of blackguardized him  .. After what he again haven't come to MSN. Like he always do. And then I feel guilty. Even if there is no reason ...


 "But I do not want to feel guilty," I murmured to myself.
I hugged Angel who walked out on the balcony.

"Do you think I should leave him?"
Meeof!

 "Yeah, sorry. There's nothing between us. I rephrase the question. Should I stop hunting him?"
Meeof!

 "You think so?"
She meowed again.

"I don't think so,"
 Angel jumped off my lap and went back into the room haughtly.

'Fine then! " I shouted to her. At the same time my phone rang.

"Hey, Alasia!" I said into the phone.
"Hey, Caro. I'm trying to catch you on MSN for hours. Where are you?"

"Eh .. outdoors?"
"Oh, so you,"

"Wait, I'll be right there,"I pressed the red button, stretched myself and sat on the bed,
putting laptop on my lap.

"Hey," I wrote to Alasia.
"Well, finally, what did you do?"

"Hung out outside and thought," I replied honestly.
"Jason?"

"There is no one to think about but him,"
"Oh, poor you. How many times do I have to tell you that you deserve better?"

"Oh, do not become Michelle"
":D"

"At least you aren't this straightforward,"
 "I did the level, didn't I,"

"She is insuperable. Like..."
"Like?"

"Forget it,"
"Ok, I got it,"

"So?"
"?"

"You wanted something, too? 'Cause I'm sure you didn't write me as you can read my mind... Can't you?"
":D Who knows, who knows. Actually, I really wanted some help with computer."
"Uh-uh. Well, shoot."

It turned out that she needed to make another formulas' table in Excel. We completed it, then chatted a bit (of course, she asked if something happened between us, so I told her about today bus incident).

Alasia suggested that perhaps it can change something, opens his eyes or sth like that, but I doubted. I really don't think that there's sth I can do about it anymore.

Again, I was thinking for a long time, considering the pros and cons of my choice, and
listening to Evanescence - Lies on the background when I heard another song that messaged me about incoming MSN messages. I peeked at the control panel and saw ..  nothing more but Jason's letter. 

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